The Obscure

Hi guys. Heh, I've been finding it hard to write anything on this site as of late, cause I know my mom goes to it now. You're choking my creativity mom! so on that note, I've decided that, as in most writing, any lewd sayings or profanities are there to add dramatic affect, or to emphasize a specific point, and is not directed, nor originated, to or from anyone in particular. Let's see if my mom yells at me about this later on haha. So I have mcas tomorrow, that's never good. You know how you can allways tell when you are Reeeeaal nervous, like, when you constantly feel like you need to eat, yet have to crap. that's what this entire day has been like for me. Maybe I just have diarrhea, or however you spell that. ah well, so to relax, I guess, I went with ryan and jeff and phil and kyle and althea (yeah, long list) to my old school to visit my old teachers, then to papa ginos, where Ryan "Abraham 'the great emancipator' Lincoln" Engley, and kyle, I think, idk, paid for pizza. those saints, or saint, whichever the case may have been. But now, as usual, I have started to feel a little down. I don't know why, or how, or even if it is actually the case, but nonetheless, I'm feeling...not great. I'm feeling myself get stupider. I never thought I was particularly smart, merciful heavens no, but I've alway tried for a somewhat, I don't know, wider philosophical outlook on things. and I am feeling myself get dumber. Or perhaps, I haven't been advancing at all with age, philosophically, while my booksmart intelligence (what little of it I possess) is beginning to see the flaws in my ideals. as good as my life is, there is something about this whole thing, this constant oppressive existence, the society in which I am forced to live, that I just can't live with. GAH! I don't see how my subconcious could be as pompous as to elevate itself above the rest of humanity, but somehow I don't feel like I am meant to suffer under the yoke man puts himself in. It's not my place, no, it's not OUR place, as mentally and spiritually able beings, to have to deal with this constant bullcrap, why must we anchor ourselves with our own perversions? and more so, why must those who see things differently have to live with the way the rest have made the world? why do we have to wallow in the filth our predecessors created when we didn't choose to be here? These and many more questions answered, when you DIE. haha, that was clever john, swish. Ah well, I love you all, you are my fuel for survival. Bye bye!