The Obscure

haha, I made a post that was stupid and ended it with "I'm not going to delete this" and then promptly deleted it. I'm so retarded.

I'm feeling down today, and my belly hurts. Belly aches and mindaches go hand in hand, span in span, land in land, and can in can. My land's can can but my hands span shan't step away from the spinning evil that floats along side my jetplane as I soar above terror and heaven, and ask only the words that you must know for the trip you lost on your way to go to the spanning land I can not understand to trust to love to hate to touch, I do not love, at least not too much and feel my tongue inside your mind, my lost zeal for life approaching behind your window into life, into lust, into Death, and Can you SEE ME?

Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative,
you enjoy dancing writing and music. You are
often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. You
keep to yourself aside from a few close friends
that you can relate to. [please vote! thank
you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I took a "what kind of shoe are you quiz off of leah's site. I got to be ballet shoes. I wonder if that means I'm gay? Or that I just love to Dance? Screw chicks tonight man, I gotta DANCE!

I guess I'm gay then.

The lousy stupid ugly piece of human excrement sophomores (with whom I am good friends with) at my school are taking MCAS right now, so I don't have to go to school till ten. It was nice to sleep in, you know? and now I get to shower and have my morning coffee at my leisure. Fun times. It's so weird that I say stuff that Damns routines and things, and yet I alwyas do the same exact thing when I have a free morning, sleep late, drink a cup o' coffee, play FInal Fantasy Seven (the ULTIMATE free morning game, totally, although lately I've been playing chrono trigger there too) update my site, and then when I have a tiny amount of time left, shower; I usually end up late to school anyway. My school has this weird thing with backwards half days, we got like 6 last year, I wasn't allowed to enjoy four of them, cause of MCAS. I don't remember if the other two actually existed.

I was in math class the other day, and there was going to be an assembly, I was kind of excited, I like assemblies. Except I found out when the assembly was called that it was only for sophomores. I'm in a sophomore math class that I failed last year haha, so they all got up and left, and I got to sit in there with the teacher doing Math-Labs. Fun times baby.

Well that's all I got fo' now. See y'all later.

Hey guys, I drew a page o' doodles in science class today check it... Page o' doodles

Yeah, so... see y'all later.

See the lonely boy
Down on the weekend
Trying to make it pay
Can't relate to joy
Tries to speak and
Can't begin to say...

What the very large man is going on in here?!

Well if you must know, I'll tell you. For your information, taylor, tim, and I are hanging out in my room here, listening to Taylor's "The Last Waltz" cd thingy, it is fweakin bodazzlin. I am having a tremendous day, despite my constipation, headache, and nausea. I'm just like a LIpitor commercial!

The way I see it, women deserve to be hit. Daily. If you try to argue with me, I WILL SMACK YOU DOWN, NOW GET IN THE KITCHEN YOU DIRTY... Young woman...

I have decided I actually like chapelle's show a lot now. This is kinda funny if you know stuff about me and chapelles show and some dirty #&$% from bridgeport who was all trying to mack on Lauren with his scrawny, base and unattractive self. I'm not gonna say I'm any better, I mean come on, he's a friggin Paramedic/Abercrombie & Fitch model!

Moving on, my belly hoits so I'm going to punch a hole in it and drink the gooey innards. Farewell.

Dude, the pants that girls wore in the late seventies, man, it made their butts look Giant! It was a puerto rican's DREAM!

Anyway, I'm just chillin here, tim left a half hour ago, and my sister left about Nine freaking yers ago to buy us some soda and she's not back yet. For all I know she got married and is now a mother of three living in the outskirts of chicago; she certainly had enough time, dammit.

I am feeling GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD man. Check this out, I got a job today, kind of. In that, dave's family is building a house, and there Cable guy, who goes to our church, has recruited me and tim to do wiring there. So we put in over a mile of cable wire today haha, we just have Phone and Internet to do. I made fifty bucks though, so bite that. Also I can apparently come down on friday afternoons from now on, and clean up there for another fitty dollahs or so. Pretty sweet man.

welp, I got nothing really else to tell. except for this one thing, I smell. So kiss my rump and go to hell, I can't be riding all pell-nell.

Pell nell is a term, right?

alright, I'm gonna update now. All of you know the story of how Lauren decided we are apparently not going to be together right now, I can deal with this now. It took me 72 hours of being locked up in my dark room watching Star Trek and X-files re-runs but I'm cool with it now haha. I'm sorry I kind of pussied out on everybody, I'm not very strong emotionally.

I had to talk to my Parents about my ambition to walk to california. Haha, I've always wanted to do that, it wasn't a recent developement, and when Lauren did the whole breaking up thing the idea seemed very appealing. My mom pleaded with me not to, so I stuck around. The cool thing is, if I pass juinior year then this summer they are going to send me on a three week bus trip to california, I'm gonna stop for like two days in omaha, and then hang out for like 2 days at this woman who my mum used to be best friends with's house, Sabrina was her name, in california, and then come back home by bus. It sounds kind of bogus but I need to see something outside of Massive-Two-Shits here, I'd meet new people and see new stuff, stop off in most of the major cities for a while. It'd just be great for me I think, I'm very excited about it. Doesn't it seem cool to you? Just taking a bunch of buses across the country and stopping for a couple hours at least in like new york and chicago and stuff, and journaling everything down and such? Who knows, maybe I'll make some friends with whom I can stay if I ever want to do another road trip, that would be pretty righteous.

Yeah anyway, that's all I have to say about that. Again I'm sorry I've been dumb for the past few days, I know I deserve this, it's my fault after all. I'll talk to you guys later.

I posted some retarded stuff on here, and I've realized that it won't help matters it will just make me a liar. I said I'd be patient. This will be my last blog update for a while, Goodbye chums.

I deleted this last post, it displeases me. Everyone has loss, I guess it's time I got my share.

I hadn't cried in 8 years, till last night. 8 goddamn years.

I can't write right now, so I'm going to post this Neil Young song...

Neil Young- A man needs a maid

My life is changing
in so many ways
I don't know who
to trust anymore
There's a shadow running
thru my days
Like a beggar going
from door to door.

I was thinking that
maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby
for her to stay.
Just someone
to keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

It's hard to make that change
When life and love
turns strange.
And old.

To give a love,
you gotta live a love.
To live a love,
you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

A while ago somewhere
I don't know when
I was watching
a movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
that I could understand.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

When will I see you again?

Ever since I was very young I had a great disdain for rock and roll music based on the idea that the majority of every song was about Love, lost love, found love, unrequited love, reciprocal love, it was always about Love in some fashion. This at the time annoyed me because I hadn't found love nor did I have the oppurtunity to lose it.

Rock on.

"He's a modern day Picasso."
She said to me, with that
Strange, Sardonic Smile.

dude, I baby-sat this little girl at my church today. Or rather, I slept in the back seat of a car next to a two year old girl who was also sleeping in her carseat while taylor sat in the front seat and tapped on the sterring wheel for an hour. I got ten dollars. Using this ten dollars and five other dollars I had I got a 25 foot ethernet cable, and now I have my computer internet...ed... permanently.it's great, now I can sit here with my blanket on so I am cozy warm and watch TV and such. It's fantastic, it really is. I want to have Lauren over so we can look at cyber-butt-porn whilst making sweet sweet love all through the night fancy. You know.. like we do.

"What would Zorro do?" *Envisions* BLAM! "Zorrooooooo!!"

See now if you have seen that episode, that quote is very funny. If you haven't, you have no idea what it means. That is a prime example what I like to call a Phantaquote.

Phantaquote: (V/N/ADJ/P) The act or condition of the state of pertaining or existing in relation to that which is an inexplicable quote.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelp... I'm gonna head on out. See you later.

Neil Young- Rockin in the Free World

There's colors on the street
Red, white and blue
People shufflin' their feet
People sleepin' in their shoes
But there's a warnin' sign
on the road ahead
There's a lot of people sayin'
we'd be better off dead
Don't feel like Satan,
but I am to them
So I try to forget it,
any way I can.

Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world
Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world.

I see a woman in the night
With a baby in her hand
Under an old street light
Near a garbage can
Now she puts the kid away,
and she's gone to get a hit
She hates her life,
and what she's done to it
There's one more kid
that will never go to school
Never get to fall in love,
never get to be cool.

Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world
Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world.

We got a thousand points of light
For the homeless man
We got a kinder, gentler,
Machine gun hand
We got department stores
and toilet paper
Got styrofoam boxes
for the ozone layer
Got a man of the people,
says keep hope alive
Got fuel to burn,
got roads to drive.

Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world
Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world.

Oh my god guys, the Neil Young concert was quite possibly the best three hours of my young life to date. It beats anything else I have said that about in the past, in any case. It wasn't a solo show, he played with crazy horse (his band) and at first they just played greendale, which was a LOT better than I thought it would be. They had a little acting/dancing troupe going with the band on the songs because the songs were a story of a small town family, so they had these people doing these really strange but enjoyable portayals of what was going on in the song. Plus, the main character girl was a fox.

Then he ended Greendale, waved, and they all walked off stage. Greendale had had a tremendous ending with "Be the rain", it kinda erupted into this eclectic jammy thing right at the end. So they all walk off and everybody is standing up because the ending was so good, and we all just stand and yell for like ten minutes till he comes back for an encore, playing up to date Neil Young With Crazy Horse songs, which was awesome because they were more like traditional Neil Young that we all love than Greendale was, as much as I liked greendale. Then he ended that after like five songs, left the stage, and now everybody was standing up and yelling and clapping for another five minutes till he came back for a second encore, where he played two crazy horse tunes and then BAM! "Keep On Rockin in the Free World" which is like my favorite ever neil young song, it was the first one I had ever heard by him ever and he played the best rendition of it I have heard too. He finished that out with a tremendous jam thing that lasted about 8 minutes and had a little ditty-hendrixesque-solo in it, you know how it is, they play some song for a while and during the solo play a little song that isn't hard but still sounds awesome when it's just by itself in there. He went, "Do do do, do do do. Do do do, do do do, do do do. Do do Dooo, do do do. Do do do." If any of you know what that is, I know I've heard it before. THEN after like ten minutes moved on and played a couple more songs and then "Roll Another Number For the Road" off of Tonight's the Night. and it was fantasmic. He finished that out after another jammy thing and then he said, "Goodnight folks, maybe I'll see you on down the road in a while." and then left again. then the houselights came on so we all went home haha.

We almost got lost driving home too, my dad stopped for directions a couple times. We were listening to Bringing it all back home. and I kept falling asleep in my seat, so I'd hear like the gates of eden in my half-dreaming state, and then WHAM! we were at a gas station, and then another song would be playing and WHAM! at a boigah ki. It was just weird.

AAAAAAAAAnywho, that was it. It was a tremendous occasion that, because of my mind's memory faculties, I am already forgetting. see you.

Gotta write gotta write gotta write write write. I'm going to the neil young concert tonight, I cannot freaking wait. It is going to be so awesome that I think I might soil my pants with joy.

I am a lecherous guy, I've realized. Some of you may know this first-hand (hehe)

I'm bored with this, I'm gonna go watch tv and hit things with sticks.

Jeez fweakin doobabs man. Everybody's got an Old Merce site now. Ah well, I'll stick with good oool' fashioned blogger thank you very much. Hey... is there anyway I could turn my blog into a comic site too? Cause that would be ubertastic.

Then again, it doesn't really matter... we're all going to die soon anyway.

I feel like a half-geek right now. True, I did have to ask my mom to apply my Ear medicine after school, and true, I did have to go through the burger king drive-thru with my head tilted to the side so the medicing didn't drip out so I looked kind of like a scrawny effeminate elephant man; BUT I did this on the way to my hot girlfriends house- BUT I spent the day watching the wizard of oz. So I dunno, am I a loser or aren't I? Only time, or Madame Cleo, will tell.

Moving on, I had an awesome day. Seriously, school was delayed an hour so I got to sleep in a little and shower and shave and drink a cup o' coffee. It's still snowing real hard now though so I'm hoping that there will be a snow day tomorrow even though my better logic tells me that if there wasn't today there is sho nuff not gonna be one tomorrow. But my better logic blows, I'm voting for snow day; you know, voting on the infamous Weather Ballot. And I got to see Lauren today, without her retainer and everything, she is stunning. And Youth Group was fun tonight even though I had to answer a slightly personal question for the whole group. Everyone else did too, so it woint a big deal. Essentially today I was just cheerful, which isn't a usual thing for me. I'm goofy sometimes, sometimes I'm sarcastic, sometimes I'm distant, or brooding, sometimes I'm ambivalent, sometimes I get into this kind of mood where I joke around with my friends and put on a kind of Goofiness show or whatever, but I'm not actually happy. Today was none of those things, today I was cheerful, I was vibrant, all was right with the world and I even went so far as to trade witty banter with my history teacher when she half-confronted me about my classwork. Yes, a good day for John, but furthermore a good day for Men; more so than even that, a good day for History Class.

I'm out.

So you know how I said my ear was clogged with water or whatever and I couldn't hear? Well apparently it is now infected and I cannot hear at ALL in my right ear, and not only is it preventing hearing, it is actively HURTING me. So that's fun. I'm going to the doctor in an hour or so to get some anti-biotics for it. I gotta call tim or something and tell him, cause he said he was gonna "pop in" today. Maybe I'll just leave him a note to wait or something. Nah, that would be inconsiderate.

I came home from school early, at about quarter of 1. Of course nobody is online and all the sites I normally read are unupdated andall i can do is listen to music with my one good ear and update my site. Luckily I found another webcomic and read all of those from the archive; so that killed some time. I'm still as bored as hell though, ah well.

Let me ask you a question, am I the only one who has discovered confidence through a long-term relationship? I remember that until I started going out with Lauren I was scared to death of girls; ESPECIALLY ones that I though were good looking and stuff. If I saw a girl and thought I was going to cross paths with her while on the street I would cross the street even though I would look like a retard doing so because I'd cross back in a couple minutes. I would just dodge crossing paths with that girl for no real reason but to avoid her her glance. So now that I have had a girlfriend for like a year I have developed a much larger confidence and I am pretty sure that despite my appearance I could probably actually get dates or whatever if I tried, after all I see this horrible looking fat kids with dates and stuff, so why wouldn't I be able to, right? Except now I've got a girlfriend and not only would it be wrong for me to go after another girl, I don't WANT to, no other girl would be good enough for me, you know? Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similiar to that, like you develope a lot so that you gain the attributes you once sought... RIGHT when they are no longer necessary; it's strange.

Anyway, I'm going to go take some pain pills for my fweakin ear. See you.

Howdy people. I've found of late that I am calling both Taylor and Lauren "baby" on a regular basis. Taylor I started to call baby as a form of amusement for myself. I started to call Lauren baby because she... told me to... or something, I don't remember quite how it happened. In any case, I now call them both Baby in pretty much the same context. I hope neither of them grows jealous of the other one, we all know how discriminating I am with my affections.

When I was taking a shower earlier I was cleaning my ears (which is apparently something that people don't normally do, which I thought was strange, maybe I'm just strange) and I got water in my right ear. It got in really deep and I can't get it out no matter how much I try, I hope that tomorrow when I wake up from a night of lying down on it, it will have drained and I can hear again. I decided that being deaf would be the worst thing I can imagine, as far as infirmities go; I mean think about it, how much of our life revolves around audio sensations? I listen to music all the time, (although I don't have anywhere near the extensive grasp of it that all my friends do. I read more though so you guys can bite me.) and I rely a lot on the noises people make to position them, most of my life is based on conversational jokes with my friends and Television- and tv, I don't care what you say, would really suck without the actual sound. I mean, come on, captions?

My church is starting a project to film and air church services on the Local Cable network in my town. I'm kind of spearheading the whole Filming thing despite my incredibly daunting lack of skill, talent, or experience with any sort of filming equipment. Ah well. He's sposda be training me with the equipment on tuesdays from here on out, so it'll be fun to do that. Apparently though I'm going to be doing the editing stuff too, unless Dave ends up doing that. He has this elaborate computer set up and they picked me out of Lew, (who is turning seventy this year) and Mike P. (who wants to be the organizer, not worker). So I really had no choice in the matter. It looks very interesting though, so who knows, maybe it'll work.

I don't mean to be graphic, but I haven't really pooped in like a week. I think my intestines are going to burst.

See you.

Down by the river, I shot my baby. Thassa right, you guys can all just deal wid it. Hey y'all, I'm hanging out here with tim. I finally got my computer entirely set up in my room, and it makes me happy because now I can watch TV while I'm online. It may not seem like a big deal to you but it sho nuff is to me. I tell you man, I was really down for the past couple weeks, but last night Lauren fixed me so I'm good now. Huzah!! I found a site where I can buy the "Complete Robert Crumb" books for like twenty bucks a piece. If I start working at that job I think I have, I can buy One a week, and then I'll have Every Single Piece of Robert Crumb's Official Work Ever MADE. I mean, after all there is about 20 Complete Crumbs out. Wow... that's like four hundred dollars... heh heh, It's woith it. I saw a Robert Crumb Pen and Ink drawing on canvas of Every member of the grateful dead on a stage with the words, "The music never stopped" emblazoned above them, and the audience watching them were all skeletons. It was going for like 20,000 dollars. It's so strange, he isn't magnificiently famous, it's just that people who Do know him, are obsessed. He's so good, his sketches are thousands of times better than most contemporary Great Artist's masterpieces. and it makes me sad.

I bought "Neil Young With Crazy Horse- Everybody Knows This is Nowhere" and "The Sex Pistols- Nevermind the Bullocks" on cassete at FYE for 5 dollars apiece. Well to be entirely frank, Lauren bought me the Sex Pistols album, because she has money now from her job, and wouldn't let me not let her buy it for me. Whoa, what a weird sentence.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeelp... time for me to hit the ooooool' dusty trail. Farewell, Admiral Sexbot.

Bob Dylan's 115th Dream

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I have yuh understand
Who came running to the deck
Said, "Boys, forget the whale
Look on over yonder
Cut the engines
Change the sail
Haul on the bowline"
We sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea

"I think I'll call it America"
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
Captain Arab he started
Writing up some deeds
He said, "Let's set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads"
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
He throw us all in jail
For carryin' harpoons

Ah me I busted out
Don't even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down
To the Bowery slums
Where people carried signs around
Saying, "Ban the bums"
I jumped right into line
Sayin', "I hope that I'm not late"
When I realized I hadn't eaten
For five days straight

I went into a restaurant
Lookin' for the cook
I told them I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
The waitress he was handsome
He wore a powder blue cape
I ordered some suzette, I said
"Could you please make that crepe"
Just then the whole kitchen exploded
From boilin' fat
Food was flying everywhere
And I left without my hat

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab
And all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
Who invited me to her house
I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me out
And robbed my boots
And I was on the street again

Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, "Could you help me out
I got some friends down the way"
The man says, "Get out of here
I'll tear you limb from limb"
I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"
He said, "You're not Him
Get out of here before I break your bones
I ain't your pop"
I decided to have him arrested
And I went looking for a cop

I ran right outside
And I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
This Englishman said, "Fab"
As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
Parked across from a building
Advertising brotherhood
I ran right through the front door
Like a hobo sailor does
But it was just a funeral parlor
And the man asked me who I was

I repeated that my friends
Were all in jail, with a sigh
He gave me his card
He said, "Call me if they die"
I shook his hand and said goodbye
Ran out to the street
When a bowling ball came down the road
And knocked me off my feet
A pay phone was ringing
It just about blew my mind
When I picked it up and said hello
This foot came through the line

Well, by this time I was fed up
At tryin' to make a stab
At bringin' back any help
For my friends and Captain Arab
I decided to flip a coin
Like either heads or tails
Would let me know if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
So I hocked my sailor suit
And I got a coin to flip
It came up tails
It rhymed with sails
So I made it back to the ship

Well, I got back and took
The parkin' ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
When this coastguard boat went past
They asked me my name
And I said, "Captain Kidd"
They believed me but
They wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
They let me go right away
They were very paranoid

Well, the last I heard of Arab
He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy
Sheriff of the jail
But the funniest thing was
When I was leavin' the bay
I saw three ships a-sailin'
They were all heading my way
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn't drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus
I just said, "Good luck."