The Obscure

Welcome, one and all, to the incongruent ravings of an inferior mind!

Friday, December 31, 2004

Hey hey everybody. New Years Eve, today. Traditionally I would be writing this New Years Eve post late at night, after an exciting evening of sitting here at my house watching tv, possibly with Tim.
Today, though, I write in the morning, in commemoration of the surgery that I was having last year at this very second, the surgery that for all intents and purposes changed my life forever!
But I won't get into that.
So much has happened this year, my world was entirely derailed, my mind has become something new, my soul has private depths to it that are astonishing.
I've come to the end of many a year, in my life, but this time is different. This time I am sitting on the brink of my own self-discovery. After this year nothing in life will be the same for me. I am graduating, I think I am moving out, I have to decide whether to go to college and what to go for and where to go. This is no ordinary New Years Eve, my friends. This is the end of an epoch, this is the autumn of the bronze age of John. I know, I know, it's not really that big a deal. But I just have to ask you guys, those of you that knew me well a year ago, and two years ago, to think about how different life is for us now than it was then, and how different it will be. Jeez, man, there's no way anybody could prepare for that.

I was talking to my younger sister yesterday about some things. She has been very depressed lately, as have a lot of people. She asked me, "When is it going to get better?" and I replied, "I don't know, but I know it does."
And here I am, standing on the ashes of my old life. Changes have come all around me, changes have come inside me, my whole world has metamorphosed into some new species of ant (my world is an ant); and during all these changes, I did not notice a thing until it was all past. I saw no difference until I stopped for a minute to look back on life, and realized that where I am now is beautiful place.
So, forgive this poorly written, disjointed blogpost about things that don't make sense to anybody. I am just writing to collect my thoughts on things, because right now man, life is good. My only regret is that I cannot explain how good it is to someone like Elena, it is not a feeling you can impart. But I know that she too will one day feel fine and fancy-free, like I do today. Happy New Years, boyos and goilos. Don't get too smashed.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

This one goes out to Becca.

Whitesnake- Here I go Again on My Own

I don’t know where I’m going
But, I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An’ I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again

Tho’ I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I’m looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
’cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a hobo* I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time

I’m just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love’s sweet charity
An’ I’m gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
’cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a hobo* I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go...

An’ I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone
’cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known,
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone
An’ I’ve made up my mind
I ain’t wasting no more time...

But, here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go again,
Here I go,
Here I go again...

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hey everybody.
I got in a car accident, today. This guy rear-ended me and then drove off. It may cost my parents a big chunk of change, so I feel terrible; and for some reason my head and neck hurt a lot, I guess that is a common symptom of an "accident."
Anyway, the whole situation is very depressing. I think I'm going to read for a bit and then go to sleep.
G'night everyone.

I've been pacing around my house for two hours. This wool sweater is as itchy as my ass, which is itchier than usual tonight because I am wearing this wool sweater; a wool sweater that is made from the Miracle Fleece of the Itch-Sheep, the itchiest sheep ever to grace the face of God's green... place. The sheep is so itchy that by the time it comes of age, it has killed itself. It's a miracle they aren't extinct. Hence: Miracle Fleece. You can't put a price on a miracle, except in this case. The price was two for twelve dollars.
And I said, "Here I go again, on my own!" *GUITAR!*
I actually stole the Itchiest Sweater Ever from my Father's fabled Wall of Discomforts, which is held together by golden studs, and supported by beams of caring.

The only problem with opening everything with a 13 inch long knife is that you break pretty much everything you open. Now, that's only an issue if you are opening something you want--therefore, the trick is to open everything you DON'T want open, thereby preserving the things you do want open in a pristine state of safe godhood in the Valhalla of the Christian Saints alongside the Many Large Bulls of Antioch.
See? It all makes a strange kind of sense now, doesn't it?
And I said, "Here I go again, on my own!" *GUITAR!*
That is the only part of that horrible song that I know, and I will sing that one part until the day I grow bored with it, and then I will crumple it up and toss it away like a used Taylor.
I am going to continue this facade of blogly kingship until fatigue can win the day and overrun the neurotic defenses of my body. It's like a million microscopic Woody Allens are running around inside my bloodstream, making everything difficult to deal with, and marrying their stepdaughters.
"How could something like that happen in a... World?"
I don't know what that quote is from, but I know I saw it, and I know I laughed at it.
Jack Black said it. Oh man, I am so happy. Oh god.... Oh god, yes. I never figure things like that out, they just bother me for hours until I cut my head open and chop them out. You have no idea how satisfying actually figuring something out is, for me.

Friends, Gentlemen, Colleagues, Fellow Financial Advisors for the Reagan Administration, I have come here with a word. A word of interest, a word of power, a word so ominous and large that the very rocks that would compose a giant stone statue of the word would tremble with perfectly understandable fear at their own large purpose; were such a statue, of course, ever made (one can only hope). A word so welcome in Russian households, a word so vital to several traditional hebrew dinners, a word so inexplicably unintelligible that no man has yet to understand it, yet all men seem drawn to it. Yes, this is the word of words, it alone can be spoken at the feet of Honest Abe, himself. Someday I, and Bill Cosby, will confront the statue of our great country's mascot, and the earth will shake, and the sky will cry out and learn complicated trigonometry from my friend Will, who owns a Pontiac. It is a nice Pontiac, and it is also the purveyor of the apocalypse. My loss, my gain, my mettle-detector, to find out exactly how much pride is welcome in a land like this, and to kick out every last foreigner on their way to safety. If they wanted safety they should've made their own America. Weird. My eyes have just seen something that is quite obviously in front of me; and my wife, the Baroness De Fance-Slacks, has attacked my field of vision with the ruthlessness of 2 average sized panthers who haven't eaten in at least 45 minutes. I can not even die with dignity, I must be bored by stupid digestively-oriented wild cats beforehand. Then again, learning how to drive on a snowy night like this while being torn apart by panthers doesn't sound like too bad an idea.
Not too bad an idea at all.

Monday, December 27, 2004

My baby takes the mawnin' train. he works from nine to five, and then! He takes the train back home again, to find me waiting for him.
Hey everybody. I had an eventful night last night, we were coming home from my Aunt's house in NH when the snowstorm got really bad, so it took us like 3 1/2-4 hours to get home. Maria, Keith, and Tee couldn't drive back to Fall River in their ol' pickup, not in that weather, so they stayed here for the night.
While in New Hampshire I got some more presents, weeeee!
My Auntie Patty gave me this fleece sweatshirt that I love that looks like the star-trek uniforms from Next Generation. It looks goofy on me, but it's so comfortable and WAW'M.
And my Grandma gave me some headphones, earphones, and about a million batteries. Also, my Grandparents gave our family a 500 hundred dollar check to buy a fridge for our new house! Totally unexpected, it was very veeeeeery nice of them. This will be the first actually NEW fridge our family will ever own.

Welp... I'm outta hea'. Taylor's PA came in, so we are going to go kill music.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

How many times I've wondered, it still stays the same. No matter how you do it, or think of it, this is life, and you've just got to play the game. It's been a rainy night in Georgia, such a rainy night in Georgia. It feels like it's raining all over the world.

How is everybody doing this fine Post-Mortem Christmas Cerebration? I hope everyone had the merriest day ever.
I hadn't showered in like two days, (which is intense, because I usually shower like twice a day) and I showered just now and I feel fan-fweakin'-fabulous.
I got a few knew knives know, they are cool.

Uhhhh.... jeez, what's that thing people have? Dangit, I always forget this.
Oh yeah, Thoughts. I don't have any of those right now.

Today we go to New Hampshire to visit my Auntie Patty, at her house will be my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and sisters (etc). It is guaranteed to be a day filled with awkward pauses and isolated feelings of black-sheep-ism by a few of us, namely Me.
I guess it'll be cool though, who knows?

Alright. Sorry that the blog posts have been so lacking lately, my jimminy-cricket has been a little lackluster in these autumn years.*
G'bye everybody!

*Taylor's Joke

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Hey hey everybody, and Merry Christmas to you!
I hope everyone got a little special something to give their vacation that extra oomph it so sorely aches for. Myself, you ask? I made out like a rotten thieving bandit!
My parents got me a cell-phone, which is awesome. I don't think I'm going to use it much except when I am driving. For reference! The number is: 423-284-4827
Also, my dad got me a Persian Kukri dagger, which is the coolest thing in the world. I don't know what exactly I'm going to use a dagger for, but I love it anyway. Furthermore! I got sunglasses. Huge aviator sunglasses. Because I keep stealing my mom's sunglasses when I have headaches or when I drive, so now I have my own. They look goofy on me, but pretty much everything does so it's alright.
Good tiiiiiiiiiiimes, man.
I woke up this morning at six because I am like a little kid at christmas-time, and I walked out into the living room and saw the tree, and there wasn't a lot of presents, you know? Because money is tight. We each had like six, or something; and I thought to myself, "Christmas keeps getting smaller and smaller, but the love is still there."
True words, boyo. True g'dang words.

It was cool to have Lena back for a little while. It wouldnt've been Christmas without her here.
Aaaaaanyway. My mom needs the computer, so I'll talk to y'all later.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Wellity wellity wellity. It seems Christmas Eve has pounced upon our unsuspecting form with all the fierceness of an army of rabid pandas. I have had a pretty shnizzy day, did some things, did some stuff. It was an all around good time. I went to work to pick up my check that I owe all of to my parents, and boss-lady wasn't there (backstory: Bosslady is bad at paying people. Real bad."
So I am upset.

Coyote Ugly is on. That is one of the worst movies ever made. Luckily, it is also one of the wurst movies ever made. Bratwurst, that is.

So Christmas is tomorrow and I haven't yet wrapped all but two of my presents, and I haven't done any of the cleaning I am supposed to do. Also, I was commissioned by Jackie Locantore to do a comic strip, but I haven't finished it and I have to give it to her like, today.

Anyway, I have to go to the store and buy some stuff for my mom. I may continue this later but it is looking unlikely.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Man, what a niiiight!
It actually wasn't much of a night at all, sorry for misleading you there. I didn't get to sleep till real late, and I had been planning on going to school today. Then I woke up at like eleven, thought about maybe making it to last period, blinked, and then woke up at 12:30, and said, "Screw it."
I had the weirdest dream, where my mom was making me bury bowling balls to keep them fresh, but I couldn't do it right. I would dig the hole, put the ball in, and then there wouldn't be enough dirt to cover it up again. I buried some markers and a few Pies, too. With the same result.

It's a beautiful day to play Kingdom Hearts. I've still got a couple christmas presents to buy and stuff though, so I doubt I'm gonna have much sittin' around time.
I hate it when you get those game-cravings, and you can't play for one reason or another. It leaves you so unsatisfied.

Just so's y'all know, I am not going to be giving the majority of my friends any christmas present this year. Maybe a sketch or something. I had 60 dollars to shop for 8 mandatory people. I've got it down to a possible 2 people now and I have ten dollars. I might borrow some money from Lena, which is really depressing.

I need some coffee, I'll talk to all you party-people later!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Hey-lo ladies and gents. How is everyone doing this evening?
I am updating right now only because I want to keep my site updated. I don't like having it not have an update. Understood? Good.
Now, to further my own edjucation in the mysterious ways of the Fremen.

I registered for the Jan. 22nd SAT I today. I then studied for like an hour and a half. I am trying to force myself to study, because I haven't done any schoolwork in ages, so I need to catch up before I can take the test. Dig? Good.
I am feeling a little ill right now. Topsy turvey and upside down, if you know what I'm saying.

A very large amount of people want a very large amount of ways to save a very large amount of money on a very large amount of things. I, though, the fabled spinner of tales forbidden, purveyor of tom-foolery, the proprietor of all around good times and motorized wheelchair emporiums; am in this case, the minority. I, Eleanor Roadsevelt, the Lady of the Law, the Eternal Blind Justice of the People in the Year of the X, have devoted my life, now and hereafter, to the pursuit, capture, and decapitation of one Sir Grabban Zee Babban, on this day of mourning, in the great land of Eurodeluasia.

Ok, my brain is utterly destroyed tonight. Goodnight fellers and felletes.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Hello everyone! I am in the school library right now with Katie, who is writing a newspaper article on the computer next to me. She won't let me read it, what a bitch! Nah, I'm just kidding, it's cool.
Anyway, I came to school today, which is rare. I didn't get here till like ten thirty though, which isn't rare.

I saw Ryan during lunch, that was cool. He revealed to me that for christmas he bought my "Smokey and the Bandit 1,2,&3" on DVD. So soon we will have a smokey and the bandit marathon! Woop-de-doobab!
Eastbound and dooooown, loaded up and truckin', aw we're gonna do, what they say can't be done!
Best movies ever. They rival even the star wars trilogy (a new hope through return of the jedi,I mean; not the new ones, the star wars shit-ogy. Oh snap!)

A Brief Katie Interlude

John didn't notice that I got my haircut. I'm very angry. He found a bottle of lipsmackers next to the computer. I hope someone lost it, because they deserve to have lost it. Dummies.

That was Katie. She didn't really get her haircut, it's a lie!
Anyway, I don't have much to talk about right now, I am trying to secretly read Katie's article without her noticing, but I am not much good at that. Man, she types fast. I thought I had a pretty fast "GWAM," but Katie is schoolin' me. She's got like a page or two done while I'm still typing this. Then again, she's copying from her notebook, so maybe I still am better than her in every possible way, like I had previously assumed.
That's not true, I am but a mere mortal on this, our fair earth.

This spacebar is all screwy, it doesn't space like normal spacebars do, no no! It has a whole different idea of how to respond when it it pressed. It's theories are a little too "out there" for my taste. I am used to the old-fashioned, tried and true spacebar theory that involves making spaces. Not this crazy new age stuff about not doing anything at all because it's a shitty spacebar that I want to rape to death.

Anyway. I guess this post is done now. I need some coffee.
Good day!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Hey hey all. It's that time of day again! That wonderful time when John grows bored of the humdrum bumby gum of daily life and decides to take a quick dip in the cool, crystal clear water of his own loquacious creativity.
It is a sad, sorry state of things when ones own Self can look at you, and chuckle with superiority. Unfortunately that is to be my lot in life, until I can find a way to better my Self and thereby finally have the upper hand.

I'm in the middle of doing laundry. I have used up all my t-shirts, I am down to wife-beaters [<--insert joke about being Puerto Rican here]

I saw our new house today. It was really nice. It looks like it'll require a bit of exterior work, but the inside is great. It's mostly carpeted, and it's pretty roomy (we'll fix that once we fill it with all our junk.) The kitchen is awesome.
"My Room" is tiny, though. I won't be able to fit my drafting table in there and still live in it, so I am going to have to put it in the Den.
There is a Den. It has a fireplace, I like the house.

I don't have much else to talk about right now. I was feeling very chatty at the beginning of this, but that was an hour ago and it wore off.

Hello everybody. Let's see, what am I to post on this, the day of my daughter's wedding?
Christmas is less than a week away. I have yet to buy any presents except one, and my Christmas funds have quickly depleted to nothing because I am terrible with money.
We got a new house, I guess. I don't know quite how to feel about that. I got a drumset from my uncle today, and some other stuff to use with Taylor. That oughtta be alright.

Lena isn't living here now, she is staying with the Stones'. The house is very empty, I don't really have anybody to talk to anymore. I hope she comes back for christmas, but I don't think she really cares much about christmas nowadays. There isn't much fighting around here now though, so I guess it works.

Tim's here now, and I lack energy and... write-itivity. So I'm going to go. Goodbye everyone!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!
How is everybody doing today-day-day?
I am doing Ok-K-K.
Took my baby awaaaaaaaaay.

Yeah. I didn't go to school today on account of myself and a good friend of mine whom I shall from now on refer to as, "Sleep" got into a dispute and decided to avoid one another's company till around 5:30 in the morning. In truth, it's all my fault, I was neglecting sleep for my other lover, "Batman Movie Marathon on TBS".

Then this morning I had to wake up at nine to go visit BR because my little sister was having a crisis of sorts.
I am as busy as all get out, which is wierd, because I by all rights should have nothing to do. So I will add more to this post later.


As promised, I now bring you the Son of the Return of the Blog Post Returns!
I had a less than eventful day, today. Woke up, as previously discussed, at around nine, went back to bed at around ten. Woke up again at 2, and I have been relatively "up" since. Took a shower, as usual. That was cool. Freshly scrubbed and groomed, I moved back into my old spot by the computer, spoke with Katie for a total of maybe 20 minutes. During this time, my Mom came home and said, "You Sir, are an Idiot."
Then it was time to throw down.

Three days ago I was of a mind to declare war on Poland. Also, I had this idea to cleanse my mother country of all ethnicities but Hessian. I was then informed that this has already been done, I didn't want to be a copy-cat, so I opted instead to watch a few episodes of Seinfeld and have a bowl of cereal. Cereal that was, in fact, NOT produced in Poland.
John: 1, Poland's Cereal Trade: 0
Suck that, bitches.

Wouldn't it be wierd if we based all of our actions on spite? Like, "I'm going to drink Coke, not because I like it much, but because I Dislike Pepsi."
That would be nuts! I'd kill myself if someone I didn't like liked me. Dogs would climb trees, cats would wear tap-shoes; the very rhyme and reason of our universe would be sucked out, like so much juicy pomegranate!!

Alright, I am going to go to Taylor's in a few minutes, so this blog post can now finally die in peace.
Good day, everyone!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Hullo! Please pardon the previous post, it was not at all in the Christmas spirit, I don't want to be a humbug!
How did it go from Scrooge saying, "Humbug!" to people actually BEING "humbugs"?

My ear infection is healing nicely. You know what that means! That's right, my ears are as itchy as HELL. This right here is the worst part of an ear infection, when it starts to get better, so your ears feel like you have tiny microscopic fire ants eating away at your ear drums very slowly, and they are dainty eaters. THey never take large enough bites to do any damage, but they way it feels makes you want to kill yourself.

Ol' black water, keep on rollin'
Mississippi moon won't you keep on shining on me?
Oh, keep on shining your light
Gonna make everything, pretty momma, gonna make everything alright
And I got not worries, cause I ain't in no hurry, at aaaaaalll

Agh! So itchy! To hell with this, man. End Transmission!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Hello there. How is everyone doing this evening? That's good/bad. Oh, me? Well, I'll tell you.
I am feeling strange. Feeling strange in the ways I have always felt strange. My head is throbbing, I don't know why. I feel the need to perform some rude act of mental masturbation, but my reservoir of bad poetry seems to have dried up, and drawing no longer gives me the release it once did.
So what do I do, then? Read, maybe, listen to music. That might help me forget about stuff for a few minutes, or at least think about something else. Drugs? Drugs have never gotten me anywhere, I was blessed with a high tolerance for them, I could keep popping pills all day and it wouldn't do more to me than being awake at 1 AM does.
I have always thought, "If I could only get past this one thing that is stopping me, I could be happy. If I could just let things go and live life in a laid-back lane, I could deal." and I have tried, and tried, and tried again to make myself think that way. I have tried to feel like things don't matter, and to know that I can just go on my own course without worry. It has never worked, no matter how much effort, or how many pills I take. No matter how many times I break down and smash some furniture and split open the skin on my knuckles, or slap my face till my cheeks are bloody; no matter how many times I let go, I always pick it back up. I can not live without the burdens I have created for myself, I can not exist without the worries or anxieties that I have fabricated.
I grew my hair long because I wanted to not care. I wanted to be one of those guys who look like they just roll along in life doing what they felt like, without a single trifling tribute shown to the tin gods of feeling that rule the lives of normal men . I wear the clothes I do because I felt like maybe if I didn't care how I looked then I could escape the eyes of my fellows. I don't wear scents so that I can seem like I do not care about my scent, I don't buy nice sneakers so that I can seem like I do not care about my sneakers, I don't want a nice car so that I can seem like I don't have to care about my car, I don't work out so that I seem like I don't care about my body. I am the same as any person I hate, I perform every action that I scorn, and I feel every feeling that I have abandoned so heartily. I act out these feelings in different ways, I make my moves in the negative. But the feelings are there, shining and hideous, to control me.
Edjucation has always been something that doesn't work for me, and I have finally figured out why. I have always wanted to be someone who doesn't care about their life, because I didn't want to be like everyone else. That's all there is to it. How petty is that, to ruin my life as a form of escape from the judging eyes of people who are just like me?
I wish there were some larger reason for my current state of isolation and emotional self-mutilation, I wish there were something I could aim for in life that was more than just the acceptance of my peers. Unfortunately, these wishes are nothing more than the wishes that brought me to where I am now--they are just empty wishes. If I keep on wishing and pretending for centuries, they will never come true.
This is no abdication, I am not abandoning the path my life is in. It is merely a recognition of the petty, childish reasons behind my self-imposed failure. It is just another worry that I am putting down. By morning I'll have picked it up again.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Hey hey, we're the Monkees!
How is everyone today? I am good, good, good. Not really, in truth I am actually very groggy and headachy on account of these here ear infections. That's ok though, I think I'm going to go to bed soon for a few hours, rest up a bit, y'know?
Oh yeah, I kinda forgot, apparently we have another house that we may well be getting. We are signing papers for it on tuesday. I don't know when exactly the moving date for it would be, though. I haven't even seen the thing yet. I don't really care, a house is a house, I guess. My main focus right now is a car. I need a car.

My car dreams keep getting squashed. My mom just told me that my brother-in-law might be selling his truck to me, though. I don't know for how much, I don't really have a lot of bling right now. I am going to be working a lot this week, so maybe I'll be able to scrounge together enough to get it. Who knows?

It's Dave's Birthday Today! Happy Birthday Dave!! I doubt he reads this anymore, but if he does, I repeat: Happy Birthday Dave!

Egh. I can't really keep my eyes open. This is all the post you are getting for today, folks. My apologies.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Hello everybody! Today is a day of vile descent, the last son in a long line of rotten days that stretches all the way back to the Bad Day of Aurogon, before the Age of Man.
I have an ear infection. Also, this thing on my ear that I thought was a zit has grown to such painfully vast proportions that it far exceeds the bounds of dismissable zitdom. Therefore, I must go to the doctor tomorrow, utterly shattering any "fun" that may have previously been procured.
Tonight is also a funless night, my friends are all off doing their thing, and I'm stuck here with all kinds of ear infection. I haven't seen Tim in a few days because I've been working like a DAWG. I got money, though. Money that was promptly sucked out of my VERY SOUL by my mother, for car insurance so I can drive the car that I very rarely use.
Also, I wanted chinese food.

I am going to enter a contest, I want to be Mr. Biology. FURTHERMORE! (Der Fuhrer-more, to my German friends) If there is NOT a "Mr. Biology" Pageant, then, by gum I'll just have to start one! And everyone will go, under pain of death. Heil Johnny! Heil Fast Food!

You'll all be glad to know that my Dead Cat (Chelsea who, though obviously dead, is for all intents and purposes very much alive) beat the flappin' deuce out of my Dumb Cat (Zoe who... is very dumb.)
Seriously, I didn't think the old bag had it in her, but Zoe is cut up somethin' fierce; it's like she got into a knife fight with Mexico.

I ordered a plate of General Gau's chicken. Up till now, I've only eaten the leftover's from my father's General Gau, this will be my first venture into the lands of having-my-own-ia. Wish me luck, in this time of great peril.

I'ma go now, y'all have a good time whicha'selves!

My body is full of an innumerable mass of wriggling maggots, that tunnel through my flesh and gnaw away at my bones. At any chance they can get they try to force their way out of my skin and into the ears of another close-by host body, and I have to submerge myself in acid and burn off my eyelids to scare them back inside my body, and save the world from their disease.
One fine day, as a young boy, I found myself grasping at the hilt a pair of shimmering scissors, with which I wished to disembowel a young girl, for ridiculing me. I plotted to kill the girl, for days I planned it, but when the time came to run the red ribbon across her belly, sympathy overcame me and the girl was spared. For all I know the girl has gone on to lead an exemplary life, full of fun and wonder and love and contentment, and still I sit here wasting away, thriving on the sweet pungency of searing skin and grinning into the rotating blades that propel me towards my own destruction; I cannot help but think of the irony that I, with the benevolence to spare the life of a girl who by my divine judgment deserved death, am the miserable one.
But is mine a lowly misery? Is my mind my lowly company? I sit here on my rock and think of the ones who spurned me for centuries, while I tried to fake and learn their game. I've been sitting on this rock for hours, and all I can do is smile at the thought of all the effort of the Oppressors gone to waste, as I destroy myself, accomplishing something they never could.
I was born, a lump of coal. They crushed me, and they pressed me, and they thought they could make a diamond. They crushed me till they broke their heel on my bones, and left me still a sooty mass; and after, only after, they leave me there alone to rot, I turn into myself again. A flaming blade, to pierce the heart of God, so I was born and so I will die. And those who thought they could make my body with it's razors edge become another ornament for the happy globe of Man, are now food for worms, beneath the soil. And I, the worm of golden blood, can munch away now happily, and eat the marrow in the bones of those who thought that they knew Me.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Hello and good morrow to you gentlemen and fair maidens, so on and etc.
Today was the first day I have ever worked a full day at an actual job. I worked 8 hours! Good times, good times. I tell you man, I am as lazy as hell, but the day flew by like nothing today. It was great, I left work feelin' all elated and stuff. Really, it was a great damn day.

I came home, right? As I do sometimes. My older sister, brother-in-law, and niece were here, but my mom and Elena were out, so we had a merry ol' time hanging out here talking about god knows what for about five minutes before I went off to take a shower, as I had just gotten out of work.
Then Katie came over. That was fun, she watched me make macaroni and cheese, and then I had to go pick up Lena from dance and it got all confusing and Katie ended up just hanging out at my house without me there for like an hour. It was really funny. For me, not for Katie.
We tried to get some Tacos for Lena, which is always a mistake. Lena is a vegetarian, and all, so whenever she tries to get anything that normally has meat in it she has to say, "Give me refried beans, instead." so the guy didn't give it to us right, and my mom made me drive Lena back to complain. Unfortunately, I guess taco bell closes now at like 9:30 PM or sometime otherwise homosexual, so we had to go through the drive-thru, and nobody at the drive-thru window knew what "refried beans" were, somehow, so we had to dictate exactly HOW to make the tacos, step by step, for about ten minutes. It was a merry time. Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, merry, Time.

Otherwise, an indirect correlation with all the negative lancelots of trust thereof.

Hey, so check me out. I'm one-a-pucen natchel, as I pronounce it. R-2, that stabilizer's broken loose again, see if you can't lock it down.
Welcome to Haiti, population, Haitian. Hessians, anyone?

Alright, my consciousness has deteriorated to nothingness, once again. Tomorrow I gotta go to school, and then, Looking at Car!
Goodnight, ladies and Ladiiies.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

What is worth knowing? I ask everyone. Nobody knows.
I've been sitting in this one spot for fifteen years.

How is everyone today? Good, I hope? Maybe you are doing well, that would brighten my day. My days are strange, lately. I lead the most inactive life of anyone alive, ever.
I got a job today, I guess. I was talking to the boss at Veronica's Treats where I help out sometimes, and I told her that I'd be dropping out of day-school in January because I have to take night-school. She said, "Will you need work?" to which I replied, "Yeah, I need work study credit, at least 16 hours a week." and she said something to the effect of, "You could work here, because God loves you."
I'm going to skip school and work an eight hour shift tomorrow, because they have this really big order of cookies that they have to put out on Friday.
I'm the Veronica's Treats' cookie boy. That's so depressing and elating at the same time. At least it's easy work, y'know?

On Friday afternoon, my mom, dad and I are going to a car dealership to check out this 1990 Toyota Camry. It's like 6 bills or so, since I have got a job now my Parents have more confidence in forwarding me the money for the car, so I may end up having a car this weekend. That would be so cool. I'd be giving them all my money for like a month and a half, but... it IS a car, which I DO need.
Welcome to N'awlins!

I'm so excited about having a job.
Sexy Cookie Boy.

So that means... five months. Five months to total life shift, for me. Five months from now, everything that is easy to grasp, everything that is regular, patterned, known, planned, and loved about my life will be abruptly changed into something I have never yet experienced. Jeez.
And what have I done to prepare for it, you ask?
In answer to your question: Nothing.
I'm just the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B.

He was a famous trumpet man from old Chicago way
He had a boogie style that no one else could play
He was the top man at his craft
But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft
He's in the army now, a-blowin' reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

They made him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam
It really brought him down, because he couldn't jam
The Captain seemed to understand
Because the next day the Cap' went out and drafted a band
And now the company jumps when he plays reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

A-toot a-toot, a-toot diddle-ee-ada-toot
He blows it eight to the bar - in boogie rhythm
He can't blow a note unless the bass and guitar
Is playin' with 'im
He makes the company jump when he plays reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

He was the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B
And when he plays boogie-woogie bugle
He's as busy as a bzz bee
And when he plays he makes the company jump eight to the bar
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

Toot toot toot, toot diddle-ee-ada-toot-diddle-ee-ada, toot toot
He blows it eight to the bar
He can't blow a note
If the bass and guitar isn't with 'im
A-and the company jumps when he plays reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

He puts the boys to sleep with boogie every night
And wakes them up the same way in the early bright
They clap their hands and stamp their feet
Because they know how he plays
When someone gives him a beat
He really breaks it up when he plays reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

Da-da, da-do-da-da
Da-da, da-do-da-da
Da-da, da-do-da-da
Da-da, da-do-da
A-and the company jumps when he plays reveille
He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B

That is the most orgasmic song in the history of time. I'm being serious, here. I'm not saying it's the BEST song, not by far. What I am saying is, the build-up to it, the horns, the huge climax of it, the abrupt finish after all the climbing... jeez You are doing yourselves a disservice if you never hear it. The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B, by the Andrews Sisters. I know, it sounds stupid, but I swear to god when you are done with it you'll ask your stereo if it was good for her too.

Alright, I'm guess I'm done with this here post. Y'all have a good night!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Me and my Family are now the proud owners of 170 Q-Tips!
I have to pay a visit to the bagpipes and drums of scotland, Only On:

Fancy pants schmants came up to be this morning, he said, "Helly Johno, when came I street the down, my lord, my hands are rubbed ragged. This is magnificently unacceptable, said the Pirate to the Banker."
And learned wild men with sunlight from their eyes can see all things and burn to a crisp, with the massive heat of a thousand stars and all the nuclear fission thereof

johnny's drugged up on some perky perks.
fuck this i wanna go to bed

Monday, December 06, 2004

Hola, las ladies and los germanos. I speak fluent spanish, once again-o.
What's up with you guys tonight? Nothing much on this end. Tim burned me disc two of "Franz Kafka- Live in New York" ("Frank Zappa" to the layman.) I am making a tape of it so that I can listen to it while drivin'. Our car stereo is nice. I like car stereos, more than I like you.
It has come to my attention of late that my writing abilities are horrible. The content isn't necessarily bad, but the way I portray it always pisses me off, if I re-read a post or two. The main thing that gets me is my recycled phrases, "of late" and... well, I can't think of anything else right now; but you get the idea.
Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you all that, as I have nothing else to talk about right now. Also, I don't require reassurance via comment(s), I'm going to keep on posting stupid updates whether or not I think my writing style is good; I've been doing so for years!

Hey, speaking of nothing to talk about, I just thought of something to talk about.
Keep the Engley household in your thoughts, and in your prayers (if you got 'em.) They're on hard times. I can't give any details, because I don't have any.

Now I will leave that subject behind.
I found one of my parent's old decks of Aviator cards the other day, one that I used to play with when I was younger. I played a couple games of rummy with mi madre ([insert upside-down exclamation point] Madre en espanol! [<-pronounced "es-pan-yole." I don't have any special character things handy. Heh, handy.]) and then I asked her, since we no longer use those cards much, if I could el have them-o. She said I couldo! *blink*
This has been your spanish lesson for the month. Please return soon for your complimentary statue of a frightened eunuch.

Welcome to Vomitville, may I take your order?
One of my favorite foods is Tofu Stroganoff. I know, it sounds unappealing, but it is delicious.
The torchum never stops.

Well, I guess I am done here. I am going to see Katie coach a field hockey game or something in like twenty minutes. That ought to be exciting, though nonsensical.
Most pointless game ever.
(Acceptable Spanish Conclusion: El pointlessest game ever-o)

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Hey hey, ladies and gents! I feel an update in my soul, for the first time in several times-worth. How are you all doing this wonderful evening? Good, I hope? Because I am doing good. Almost too good, in fact. Suspiciously good.
I better knock, (KNOCK!) on woood, Baby!
On an unrelated note, Bill Withers was a genius. Gimme the beat boys, free my soul.

I have juxtaposed myself next to a sea anenome of gladness! This sea anenome is like no other. It is spelled incorrectly. Also! It secretes poisons of joy and contentment, though it shows a face filled with only contempt.
I got in a fight with Roy Orbison earlier. I cut him. Cut him real good.

What's up with everybody? On this end, I am sitting here, wearin' my clothes that I like, listening to the music that I like, after taking a shower (that I liked) talking to nobody but the Exterior Self I have projected onto this blog. It is very relaxing, to communicate with a fabricated self. Talking to yourself is the best thing for yourself, even if it's subconsciously.
If we are wise, we'll know that there's always tomorrow.

I am in such a good g'damn mood right now. I don't know why, or how, of even If! Nevertheless, I assume it is true. And this is not the kind of assumption that can be assuaged with sausage--no no! This assumption is only for those assumptious enough to assume that which cannot be assumed by an assumé of average assumptivity.
And you know how those bastards are. VICIOUS!

Because I have LimeWire running now, I've been on this Grateful Dead binge, and have downloaded like fifteen tracks of theirs within the past two days or so. It's fun! Don't rat on me, bitch.
'tay-um one fing 'doe. M'leg-urts sump'um furce!
Yeah, bite that.

I tell you, man. I can't focus on shazz. Forgive this SPONTANAEITY of this post, for I know not what I do.
Whoa, my good times are rapidly diminishing. I need... REPETITIVE DRUG SYNDROME!
Four out of six adults suffer from repetitive drug syndrome. In fact, it's the most common syndrome of it's name known to modern science.
There is a road, no simple highway.

How many quotes would a quotechuck chuck if a quotechuck could chuck wood?
The answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind.

I guessum I'm done with all these posts here. I am not aware (speaking of course, of my mental libido) enough to CREATE MINDS with all the AWESOME POWER OVER LIFE AND DEATH that I normally possess. I ask you only this...
Where have all the cowboys gooo-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone?

Goodnight my dear, sweet, San "Mr. Gaybot" McFransisco Treat, and may your hundred neutered children feast on the sweet rotting entrails of the wicked.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Hey hey everybody, I am totally doing a survey. I'm sorry, I am just not in the capacity to actively think right now, so I am going to (as previously discussed) "totally" do this survey.

------------ THE BASICS------------------
-- Name: John "Funky Gugenheim" Vlad Von Vicdonohugh
-- Birthday: April 33rd, 1875
-- Nicknames: Johnny, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Professor Jo-Jo Jalopy
-- Favorite band: Jethro Tull, I guess. or Foghat.

-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
-- Pepsi or coke: Fresca, Bitch
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Boigah Ki, baby! McDonald's can get down on all fours and initiate bootlicking!
-- Adidas or Nike: I am wearing Spaldings
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate, boyo. I don't need no honky flavor.

-- Cappuccino or coffee: I like both, I drink a lot of coffee, and I drink a lot of cappucino, I don't think I could pick one I like best.
-----------------DO YOU------------------
-- Smoke: BALM!
-- Cuss: On occasion I have quite the blue mouth.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes! But I once missed a whole day, and I was so proud of myself!
-- Have a crush(es): Anything with more than 0 legs.
-- Who are they: ANYthing.
-- Do you think you've been in love?: Whoa-hey- whoa now. Slow down there, chief.
-- Want to go to college: Depends on whether or not I can get into college by accident without putting any effort into it. The chances seem pretty slim.
-- Like high school: Not at all, man. I don't really like "things."
-- Want to get married: Yeeeaah. My dad has always kinda built this thing in me, that family is the most important thing in a Man's life. My ultimate goal for life is to have a family that works, as stupid as that may be.
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Yeah, I took a lot of typing courses, so it just kind of happened.
-- Believe in yourself: I don't really know what this is asking. I'd assume No.
-- Get motion sickness: Yeah, I do, sometimes. If I read in the car.
-- Think you're attractive: Haha, not at all. I think I am hideous.
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah, usually. I get a little argumentative with them from time to time.
-- Like thunderstorms: I adore thunderstorms!
-- Play an instrument: I can kind of play drums.
------------IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU----
-- Done a drug: Only legally prescribed ones!
-- Have Sex: Nosiree! and this section should be "Had Sex," not "Have Sex." Stupid.
-- Made Out: Yeah, that tim is insatiable.
-- Gone to the mall: I don't remember, so Yes.
-- Eaten sushi: Nope, I've never had it.
-- Been on stage: Nope, I don't do well on stage, because I am socially crippled.
-- Gone skating: Nope, I have never been skating. Leastwist, not Ice skating.
-- Made homemade cookies: I've never made cookies, ever.
-- Been in love: Didn't you already ask that? Seriously. Calm down.
-- Dyed your hair: I have never dyed my hair, ever!
-- Stolen anything: Nope, I don't steal things, ever.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
-- Flown on a plane: Nope, I have never flown on a plane. No sir. Not a plane. Not me.
-- Missed school because it was raining?: Nope, but I've missed school for no reason before.
-- Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Haha, yeah. I'm really bad at it.
-- Cried during a movie?: Hahaha, yes! during the land before time a few weeks ago. God I should be shot.
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot?: every day!
-- Had an imaginary friend: Yeah, I think his name was mikey or something. My family made fun of me for it, and I woul dget so mad and yell and scream. It was funny.
-- Been on stage?: I don't go on stage, ever!
-- Cut your hair: Yeah, but not in a long time.
-- Had crush on a teacher?: Yeeeeeeep, I have had a few hot teachers over the years, Goooood times.
-- Gotten beaten up: Nah, not really.
-- Been in a fight: Not in a long long time! And they weren't big deal ones.
-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
-- Age you hope to be married: Eh, who knows, man?
-- Numbers and Names of Children: No g'damn clue, man. I'm thinkin' I want a girl named Annabelle, though.
-- How do you want to die?: I don't know, some way that is kind of honorable, I think.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up?: A cartoonist, I think. I like business stuff too, like accounting practices and stuff.
-- What country would you most like to visit?: Every country, I want to get some money together when I get older, and just tour the whole damn globe.
-----------------OPPOSITE SEX------------------
-- Best eye/hair color: I don't know man, I can find beauty in a lot of things, just different brands of beauty.
-- Short or long hair: Short hair looks really good on some girls, but for the most part I have found longer hair more attractive.
-- Best weight: Haha, I don't care. Weight isn't an issue.
-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I don't know, it's never come up.
-- Number of CDs that I own: I haven't counted, a good amount, I think.
-- Number of piercings: Nope!
-- Number of tattoos: None.... YET!
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Never. I'm not one of those people who "achieve" things.
-- Shampoo: It's been switching around lately, it's not longer always Pantene Pro-V.
-- Fave Color: Dunno man, maybe orange.
-- Day/Night: I like Night best, I don't know why. It just fits me more.
-- Summer/Winter: I like both equally.
-- Lace or Satin: Satin feels nice!
-- Fave Food: I like a lot of different foods, namely meat.
-- Fave sports stars: I don't watch sports, so I will say Mohammed Ali.
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
-- Wearing: Sexy perfume and a smile.
-- Thinking about: Unacceptable loss.
-- Listening to: King of the Hill.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
-- Cried: Nope
-- Worn jeans: Mmmmmmhmm
-- Met someone new online: Nope
-- Done laundry: Noooooooope
-- Drove a car: O'course
-- Talked on the phone: a bit, my friend, a bit.
----------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
-- Your friends: For the most part!.
-- Santa Claus: Nah, I don't really understand how anyone could, but that's probably because my parents never deluded me into believing it as a child.
-- Tooth Fairy: Again, I am made of leaden evil.
-- Destiny/Fate: I don't k now man, it kind of depresses me.
-- Angels: Yeah
-- Ghosts: I don't know man.
-- UFO's: Yeah, I guess. But not in the usual sense.
-- God: Yeeep.
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
-- Do you ever wish you had another name?: Nah, no really, it's a family name. Albeit a common one.
-- Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: Yeah
-- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: I'm bored with this thing already, I wish it was over. In answer to your question: all of them.
-- Who have you known the longest of your friends?: I guess the friend I knew the longest would be Ang, Dave, or Ben.
-- Are you close to any family member? Kind of. I don't know.
-- Who do you hang around the most?: Tim, or Taylor, or Ryan, or Katie. Or.... I hang around with a lot of people, a lot.
-- What's the best feeling in the world?: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Drying off with a warm towel. Also! When you wake up on the first day of april vacation, and you get up, open your blinds and take a quick shower, then you go back into bed, and your bed is all warm because the sunlight was on it, and you go back to sleep for a few more hours. God that is the best morning scenario EVER.
-- Worst Feeling?: There are a lot of bad feelings. I don't know what's the worst.
-- What time is it now?: 9:22. What's it to you?

Well, sorry to offend and destroy everyone to death with evil.


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