The Obscure

Son of a bitch! I just wrote like five paragraphs to post and then my computer froze and I lost them! Ugh. I hate when that happens. Ah well, I will try to recreate them the best I can, I got nothing else to do!
Let's see, first I said, "Hello everyone." as I do, from time to time. Then, I went on to describe my current status...
For those of you who don't know (which I'd assume are few) I have been ill for a while now. What has been happening recently is this: I will think I feel better, and go out to do stuff, and then get really drained and spend the next day feeling utterly horrible. That is the case right now. I have never felt more disgusting and uncomfortable in my entire life, and I hope to God I won't feel this way again.
Luckily, I have downloaded a whole bunch of jazz music off of LimeWire (the execution of which evidently froze my computer;) I got some John Coltrane that I hadn't yet heard, and some Dave Brubeck, and the like. That cool jazz noise is calming down the frazzled nerve centers in my brain and slowly easing my horrible physical pain (which, by the way, is the only kind of pain a Man can understand.)

So anyway, that is what I am up to right now. I am drinking some coffee in sweatpants and a raggedy old dress shirt (it's cozy!) and if it weren't for the illness I'd be having the time of my life.
I think I'll go take a shower now. Good thinking, John.
I apologize for the hastiness of this post, I had a much better one, but I lost it.

Hello dea' everybody. Happy morning after!
How was everyone's thanksgiving? Mine was alright. Right about now is the time when you are forced into thinking what you are thankful for. Well... I gotta tell you, I have been having some difficulty thinking about what it is I should be thankful for. I don't really have an abundance of blessings lately; or at least, it is hard for me to see the blessings, past the things that are going screwy.
So, I guess what I am thankful for is this: I am thankful that, for all the hits me and mine have taken, and for all the loads my friends and loved ones carry, it has been too much for None of us. Life pelts us with muck and trouble, day in, and day out (some of us more than others.) But through all of it, everyone - EVERYONE, manages to keep it going. I admire all of you for the strength you have shown, the strength that inspires Me not to buckle under the weight of my own small burden.

Anyway, sorry to annoy everybody, I just felt the urge to post that.
Moving on! I'm totally excited about doing comix, right now. I am collaborating with Ryan on some stuff, he's going to help me write out scripts (he is an amazing Catheder for my sense of humour.)
We have got some cool ideas, kind of. The only problem is the problem that has been the problem all along. My own motivation.
I am artistically impotent!

Anyway, I guess I am done with this, I am too tired to think more. My thinks are all used up for the night.

Thanksgiving is officially now called Thankslending.
The Turkey giveth, the Turkey taketh away. Amen, and Amen.

Happy Thankslending to all, and to all a fulfilling meal!

Hey hey ladies and germs. How is everyone doing tonight? Me, well, I'll tell you!

Early one morning, to kill some time
I went to my momma, asked for a lime
She said to me, "Sonny, you best watch yourself
cause 'dese limes ain't comin' off dee shelf."

I did a 180, and fell flat on my face
I said, "Listen here Momma, just give me some space."
I was lost and was burnin'
My world, it was turnin'

and my time was flyin'
my spirit was dyin'.

So I go to ol' comp-tuper
I whip up somefin super
and I say to my momma
"Lookit this g'damn Comma"
,<-

The End.

And that was my day!
I got nothing really to talk about right now, but I figured it would be good for me to update tonight, in commemoration of the update I do basically every night!
Also, though, it is now officially Thanksgiving Day! Hooray for everything!
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I write about that every Thanksgiving, and this Thanksgiving is no exception.
Or... is it?
The answer, is No.

Anyway! How is everyone tonight? Did I already ask that? No?
Well then, how is everyone tonight? Good? Alright!
Yep.

Anyway.... How is everyone tonight?

See, that's a joke, making fun of me. I only have like, two conversation lines I use. It's like, "So, what's new?" and, "So, how are you?"
You can substitute Anyway for So, they are interchangeable.
Goodnight!

Hey hey everybody! I have installed a new web browser on this here computer here. It's called "Mozilla FireFox," and I'm sure a lot of you have heard of it. It is really good, I like it a lot. A lot better than IE, at any rate, which doesn't really mean a whole lot.
Also, I got a new email address, for anybody who emails me. Which is essentially nobody. Regardless, I have one. It's changed, in the "contact me" link, if you are lookin' for a fight.

All is well in Johnny Town! That's really all I have for this update. Goodbye everyone!

I'm so very tired, man. No coffee today. I slept right through school, didn't even wake up till 1:30. I missed my dentist appointment, too.
I haven't felt this screwed up since the Reagan years.

There is some Jazz, making the world go round. But my simple eyes cannot see that truth for what it is, only for what it is not. That is the real problem with us Ornithologists (and vulcanologists alike,) we cannot comprehend the simple values of the world around us, we can only try to over-specify and categorize a place that has existed outside of our close-minded reality for eons. Eons, I tell you! Eons at the liquor store, dancing with the glares of a gaggle of goggling gargantuan ganders, befriending the least of us and helping to do the laundry with the very minnows who have evaded the fish hook for just one more day.

What, you may ask, is the point of updating when my mind is so fried that it cannot put together even the simplest concept without collapsing under the loathsome weight of my innate absurdity? The answer, my dear fellows, is in the making.

This is a blog post I wrote last night at like 3:30 AM. I guess it would be this morning, actually. Either way, enjoy.

Man, everything seems so clear from here.
How is everyone doing this lovely morning? I bet you aren't doing as good as I am. No one is. I have 100 Kilowatts of P-Funk power.
My body has never been this tired in all my life, but my brain has never been this alert. So what do I do with my new-found mental magnitude? I update my blog poorly, and intersperse my typing with trips to the bathroom sink, where I stare at the mirror and talk to myself about subjects that prior to this, I never knew existed.
What does Bobby Dyls have to say about this?
Bobby Dyls: Heh, heh... Masqueradin'.

So, Politics? Yeah.
It seems that lately everyone has begun to care about things. Either that or they always did, but I was just too insensitive to pick up on it. Good for them, eh?
Personally, though, I am a slacker. I am a slacker in all that I do, think, and say. The only thing I do not half-ass is half-assing; I half-ass all the way.
The only thing political that I have ever thought about was a comic book, and that was not one thing with any kind of political drive, but more an engine of my own devise, created for the sole purpose of poking fun at the political extremes I see around me constantly in my day to day life. I see the righties and the lefties and the bandwagon anti-war parties and the anti-bush, anti-legislature, anti-gays, anti-religion, and so on and so forth, touching on every possible nerve that could exist on any moral fiber of any sentient being living within the confines of our so-called "free" society. I do not stick to any one thing, I have found, because I do not care enough. The only thing I want to do is make fun of everyone. Is that so wrong?
Unfortunately, I lack the ability. Where I have it, I haven't developed it. Where I don't have it, I really, really don't have it. So it seems i am doomed to a life of political indecision and creative mediocrity until such a time comes that I either develop a system of core beliefs beyond "don't kill babies" and "tax everyone equally" OR I develop the skills to ridicule one and all at a regulated rate, as all Men are, ndeed, created equal. I won't make fun of the chicks. (Eeeeeyyy)

What does Bobby Dyls have to say about this?
Bobby Dyls: I'd like a small coke.

There you have it.

What a horrible post! Good day, one and all.

Bobby Dyls!
Haha, Man. I made that up a long time ago and thought, at the time, that it was the stupidest thing ever. Now, I still think it's the stupidest thing ever, but it amuses me a lot at the same time.
haha... Bobby Dyls.

Anyway. I am in such a g'damn good mood right now, I don't know why. Considering how things are, I probably shouldn't be. I think it's cause I kind of exploded yesterday and yelled a lot for no good reason, and now I'm all... empty. Dig?

Anyway! How are things with everyone as of now?
Good? No?

eeeeeyyy.... I don't have anything else to say right now. I'm still chuckling about Bobby Dyls.

I hate the night-time. I hate it because there is never anything to do, so I just stay up for hours, bored out of my mind, feeling my whole mentality slowly deteriorate until I can find amusement in making funny smirks at myself in the bathroom mirror for hours.
I love the night-time, because it is the only time I am alert, that I feel like I am actually alive.
All day I wander around in a daze, just smilin' and cracking jokes that don't make any sense, it's like I am constantly a little stoned (though, despite my appearance, I am Not a stoned person.)
Then I come home, and I stew for a little while, think about going to bed, realize that I am too wired to go to bed; and then it happens. I get hit with this sudden wave of lucidity, and suddenly I am thinking large thoughts at a fast rate, or small thoughts at a fast rate. Whatever it is, it is quick. And I think to myself, "Man, if only I were like this all the time, I might be able to live an actual life, instead of being such a fuck up."
And the very next morning, I am stupid again. I slip on idiocy like it is an outfit, and then I inadvertantly wear it till I want to go to sleep. I then undress, and find myself of sound mind. Sound mind is just an expression, though, there is nothing sound about my mind. The same things I say are my "moments of sound mind," I sometimes refer to as psychotic episodes. It is all relative, man.
It's all in your interpretation.
To hell with this, man.

I guess I should try to go to bed, right?
I got nothing to complain about, right?
I really don't want to go to bed.
I really don't have anything to complain about.
Then why am I so sleepy?
Then why am I complaining?
Because I'm hispanic.
Because I'm hispanic.

Makes sense, right? No? Fine.
I got to get out of here. This whole situation, it's killing me. It's like living in a den of invisible vampires, who slowly suck the life out of me, turning me into a lifeless wraith. I got to find somewhere else to go, and something else to do.
Sorry to piss everyone off.
I want to pack up and head out on the road. I can't wait until I am free of this stuff, and I can just go traveling. I want to see San Fransisco, I want to see New Orleans. I need to get out of this place, whatever "this place" really is.

My eyelids are beginning to droop. I guess I will go try and hit the hay. Y'all have a good morning!

Hey hey everybody. I'm just posting because for some reason I feel uncomfortable not posting. So here it is, a post.
Enjoy!

That is all I have to say for now, sorry to annoy everyone with a stupid post that everybody hates, but that is all I am good for, really.
I'm not feeling too well, I'm going to go eat a big can of frosting and give myself a manicure, or something.
Goodnight!

Hey hey everyone. John "My Baby's Daddy" McMcGarnickinny here, bring you the sweet juice with the flavor you love to savor, going on down to drown in radio-river town; as was, is, and always will be. Poppin' out at'cha with another classic from our ol' boys from down south, "You Ain't Going Nowhere" by The Byrds!

Fly so swift, the rain won't lift
The gate won't close, the railings frooze
Get your mind on winter time
you ain't going nowhere

Ooh we ride me high, tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly, down in the easy chair

I don't care how many letters they sent
The morning came the morning went
Pack up your money pick up your tent
you ain't going nowhere

Ooh we ride me high, tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly, down in the easy chair

Buy me a flute and a gun that shoots
Tailgates and substitutes
Strap yourself to a tree with roots
you ain't going nowhere

Ooh we ride me high, tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly, down in the easy chair

Now Genghis Khan, he could not keep
All his kings supplied with sleep
We'll climb that hill, no matter how steep
when we get up to it

Ooh we ride me high, tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly, down in the easy chair

Ooh we ride me high, tomorrows the day my brides gonna come
Oh oh are we gonna fly, down in the easy chair

Hoo! Wasn't that just something? Dos Excedrinóres fixa me up good!

So how is everyone doing this fine, fine evening? bad? Me too! High fives all around.
I want to be a radio show host. I think that would be the coolest job.

My Life's Ambitions
By John Colón

1. Make some comic books
2. Have three kids
3. Get married and enjoy a long fruitful life Become a radio show host
4. Sleep with Salma Hayek
5. Sleep with a box of Flinstone's Chewable Vitamins

Alright, I really don't have anything else to say. There was nobody nearby to bug so I figured I'd bug my monitor for a little while; indirectly, I am also bugging your monitors, and your monitor's monitors (which are actually You... Cosmik.)

*Edit*

Ba-HA! I was done updating, but then I realized that I have nothing else to do, so I returned to update further. I don't really have anything to talk about, though, so I don't know why I continue with these unnecessary attempts at... chivalry?
Or... do I?

There is a can of "Skintimate Moisturizing Shave Gel" on my desk, here. I don't know where it came from. (Actually I do, it came from Lena. As to WHY it's here: that, I cannot answer)
Now I know what you are going to ask, and Yes.
It IS Raspberry Rain.

School has officially bitten the bullet, for me. Today marked my 17th absence in two classes, I believe.
That means I lost credit, for those maybe... two of you who don't know.
I don't know what exactly it is that I am going to do, now. Maybe I'll just stop going altogether, what's the point, y'know?

Anyway, now I really am done updating. G'bye everyone.

Ok, so apparently the whole, "Having a house" thing fell through, somehow. Fuckin' real estate bastards.
Pardon my french. I'm just very angry.

So, we don't have a place to live anymore haha. It was a good feeling while it lasted, though, for that... 11 hours..

Goodbye everybody.

Some people accepted our offer, we have a house now! Yes!! EXULTATIONS!!

Goodnight!

Hey hey everybody. I'm hanging out here with my good buddy Taylor, who is also the Arch-Duke of Magnificence.
I like it when people say or write things that are meant to be intelligent and witty, but they mess it up ever-so-slightly and make fools of themselves. Then everyone who reads or hears it is too polite to say anything about it for fear of offending that person.
Actually I don't like it; not one bit. I dislike it mainly because I am also guilty of these things.

Now Tim is here, and I have repaid him the debts I did once owe!
As has Taylor, who has also retrieved - from Tim - the D'Addario guitar strings Tim did buy for him; necessitating Taylor's reimbursement. Get it? Good!
Tim has been lorded Grand High Imperial Minister of the Occasional Good Times Had By All.
He has decreed that good times are to be had, immediately. All who do not promptly submit to the law of the good times shall be dragged out and shot, without delay.

Anyway, that is all I am saying for now. I was updating only because I dislike leaving the blog unchanged for extended periods of time.
Good Day!

I love playing harmonica. It's so funny because I have no idea what I'm doing.
Thank you, Tim, for contributing to my harmonica fund!
It must be so annoying to anyone who can hear me "playing" this thing. I just like to make cool noises.

Anyway, that's really all that's going down with me right now, I'm waiting for my mom to get home so I can get the number to Veronica's Treats and go to work for a while.
She is here now, though.
Goodbye!

Hey hey everybody. How are things fo' all of you? Things are good around here. Too good. Creepily good...
Anyway! I'm eating my little sister's sour apple altoids right now. They are delicious, but they aren't very sour at all. Though, they actually do taste like apple, which is rare. Usually apple tasting things just taste like crap which, in turn, does also not taste like apple. Oh, inimitable fruits, what mephistophelian power from the depths of hell created thee?
I'm gonna stop eating these now, for some reason they are reminding me of the mexican food I had for lunch, and not in a good way.

Everybody is down lately, leastwise, that's how I've gathered. Maybe everybody isn't down, and I am just down. Would I project my mood onto the lives of others?
I think so!
Cheer up, possibly imaginary sufferers.

A smile may be a good umbrella, but it's altogether better to come in out of the rain.
-Grover "Mr. Monkey Business" Cleveland

Thank you, Grover "Mr. Monkey Business" Cleveland, you and your loyal companion Ryan "Franz 'Abraham "The Great Emancipator" Lincoln' Kafka" Engley have done so much good for this world.

Anyway, now that I have made you all slightly less intelligent by creating this horrible post, I am leaving. Forever. Or a day.
Goodbye!

Hey hey everyone. I updated the links list, the thing is getting a little lengthy now, but... eh, it's cool. What's a few more inches of scrolling, seriously?
If anybody doesn't want me to have them on the links, gimme a holla' in the comments section. Be warned, my mother (in an effort to comprehend more the enigma that is her son) does peruse the sites linked from her quite violently--and if you don't think you can't peruse violently, dear sirs (and sirettes), you haven't seen her in action.
So, leave a comment if you want off. That's all I gosta say 'bout that.

It is Elena's fifteenth birthday today! *shhhhhhhhhhhh!!* I'm totally doing... something... maybe... Who knows?!
My mom bought clementines. I love them. I am not good at peeling them anymore, though. It used to be I could peel the whole peel off in one piece. Now it takes me like ten minutes to get the damn things off, and I get juice everywhere in the meantime.
I'm finally reading Catch-22. It's really good, I highly recommend it to anyone else who has somehow managed to get through life without reading it.

Anyway. I'm not feelin' very updatey, plus I need to go recognize my sister's birth in some way. G'bye!

I ran into Charlie Phogg
Blacked my eye and he kicked my dog
My doggie turned to me and he said
Let's head back to Tennessee Jed

I have been guzzling gallons of cola all day.
Every night for the past five years, I have bid my father goodnight with an endearing, "See you later."

There are these single thought-lines all streaming through my brain like inter-communicative flaming arrows; and I can feel my mind spreading like a crimson 3-dimensional web, trying to stretch to every corner of the universe. It only succeeds in spreading itself thin across too much space, and losing any strength it may have once had.
I got suspended in second grade for eating cinnamon sugar, although I am sure my foul mouth and belligerent demeanor may have had something to do with it as well.
My foul mouth has always gotten me in trouble.
I got suspended in sixth grade for flipping off the principal. I did not do it to her face, but I was caught nonetheless.
My foul hands have played a part in my many downfalls, as well.

This holds no more interest for me.
Raskolnikov was a madman.

The mellow tunes of Blue Train will calm my nerves, no matter what grotesque state of life has become my lot. I remember when I first heard Blue Train, I started dreaming of becoming a jazz percussionist. I have always loved percussion, but like everything I enjoy I, in my habit of self-destruction, leave it to stagnate until it becomes another rusted and ruined dream; too far gone for me to pick it up again. I am doing that with art right now, the last time I really drew anything was two days ago. Considering how often I drew a month ago, that is horrible.
If this album had words, I would post them. I guess it is one of those melodies you have to hear to get.

It is cold in this house, but my "cold" is like everyone else's "warm." It is like 67 degrees, but I like it to be like 71 degrees. The radiators around here are so faulty, though, that it takes over an hour to change the temperature.
We are moving soon. Buying a place has not worked out for us, I guess we are not quite as middle-class as we thought. "Eviscerate the Proletariat!" Says Taylor.
So rent, rent, rent, that is the name of the game.
"Please remove your shoes, sir. White, white, white, that's the color of our carpets!"

I applied for a job at Wal-Mart the other day. I doubt that I will get it, but it was worth a shot, right? I have till Wednesday to get a job before my parents take me off their insurance. I mean, that is fair, but it still blows. I like the computer application method. It means I do not have to talk to anyone or see anybody. I will call Wal-Mart back on Monday, I guess. Feh, I just need money.

We bought a new microwave yesterday (at Wal-Mart, coincidentally,) and we saved like thirty bucks on it, right? So then we promptly smash the glass turntable thing, so we have got to spend like forty bucks to get a new one of those.
I tell you, the irony.
You know what else that means? I still can not cook my burritos. I am starving!
Now I know what you are thinking: "Man, that John sure is a sexy lady."
On the contrary, good fellows, you can rest assured that I am not a lady. All man, right here. Except for that one part. We do not talk about that one part.

While we were at Wal-Mart I convinced my father to buy me a case of Sam's Choice cola, so I have 24 cans of it now. Actually, now I have like 12, because I went through them so quick. I can not help it, I love the stuff!
It was funny though, last night I saw a South Park where Wal-Mart was taking over the world, or something; and it made me laugh.
The Savings!

Anyway, I am going to make a cappucino, and feel depressed and "lower middle-class."
Would anyone like to join me?

Hey-lo my fellow racial epithets, how are things going for all of you this spec-TACULAR evening? Things on this end: well, they are good, to say the least.
To say the most, though (I bet you thought you got off easy this time, but alas, there is no escape from the land of the Mole) I gotta tell ya, I'm having a good time. There should be a law against having this much fun. Oh wait, there is.
It's called the Bill of Rights, you might want to Look it Up.
I'm excited because my art class is going on a field trip next week, to the Harvard Peabody Museum of Fine Arts. I'm going to look at so much art! We're supposed to bring a sketchbook. Speaking of which, I'm going to have a late night tonight, I have to finish like twenty sketches that are all due tomorrow, or take an incomplete for this term in art class (which would SUCK!)
Also, we start painting tomorrow! I'm really nervous about it, because painting has never been my forte (though that's probably just because I have only done it like... twice.)
I went to the dentist today. It was weird, I didn't need novacaine because he was drilling a tooth that I had had a root canal performed on, like five years ago, so there was no nerve in it. No nerve=no pain, get it?

T-N=0P

T=Tooth
N=Nerve
P=Pain


NOW do you get it? God, you guys are thick.
Anyway, Dr. Dugas (my dentist!) is a crazy guy. I wouldn't say he was a quack, but I would say that he is a very good dentist, who is very good at what he does, and I recommend him.
Had you fooled, didn't I?

And with that, I leave you with this:

Whoever does have, must want for the polar opposite of that which he has; but whoever art so bereaved, let him find contentment in his latitude.
-The Geographical Bible, 1 Maps, 1:34

Don't you feel better now?

Words escape me.

Congratulations, El Greco. Lost in time, staring there in a place where stares can laugh and--Oh my, he has his hands shoves suspiciously in his pockets, gripping tightly on his sprockets, late at night in the dark of day's absence. Incumbent? Yes.
I'm here on a combination sleeping pill and pain pill, it appears that I know everything. Ask me a question, I defy you to ask me something I don't know. As long as your question is about sweatpants, I'll be walking away a wealthy man. All is not well in Malaria Town.
I remember when I was younger, I was camping with my father and my uncle John. I was spinning around in circles for some reason I can no longer recall.
Wait! Who's that?!

King Crimson- Epitaph Including March For No Reason And Tomorrow And Tomorrow

The wall on which the prophets wrote
Is cracking at the seams.
Upon the instruments of death
The sunlight brightly gleams.
When every man is torn apart
With nightmares and with dreams,
Will no one lay the laurel wreath
As silence drowns the screams.

Confusion will be my epitaph.
As I crawl a cracked and broken path
If we make it we can all sit back
and laugh.
But I fear tomorrow I'll be crying,
Yes I fear tomorrow I'll be crying.

Between the iron gates of fate,
The seeds of time were sown,
And watered by the deeds of those
Who know and who are known;
Knowledge is a deadly friend
When no one sets the rules.
The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of fools.

I got my plastic license in the mail! Now I am legally allowed to sell and design plastic. Har har.

I was told there may be breakfast with people today. That would be nice, but who knows if it'll ak-shally happen? Certainly not I, far be it from me to assume.
Welcome to democracy. May I take your order?
"Yes, one functional, uncorrupted system of Government, please."
Sorry, we are fresh out.
"Oh, then give me a Communism."
Do you want fries with that?
"I only want inefficient homeland-produced fries, in small increments."
That will cost Your Rights as a Citizen. Please drive up.

That's how we vote nowadays, at a drive-through. kill a Commie, for mommie.

So I just posted all that (^) and then came back to edit this post, because I found it lacking. Lacking in respect, for the common man. It is the condition of the chronically unintelligent, like myself, to never be able to articulate thoughts.