The Obscure

Welcome, one and all, to the incongruent ravings of an inferior mind!

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Hey everybody. I am home alone, I don't like it alot, because it's too quiet. At the same time I do like it, because it's...quiet. I'm gonna call lauren later so that should help. My mom and sister are at Warped Tour. I'm worried about that, I don't know why it's just scary to me. So all in all, I'm pretty frightened. Nonetheless, I guess I shall, nay, Must! prevail for the greater good of society. I finally played robotech today. It's actually really good, I must make sure to thank my sister and my brother in law extra for it. It's just like an anime show, except, you know, you play it. It's cell shaded manga style, it reminds me of goldeneye alot actually, except forty feet tall. Oh and major ups to ryan on the Burning of this album I'm listening to. S.F. Sorrow, by...the pretty things..I think. It's really really good, I reccomend it greatly. Other than that though, I guess I've got nothing. Jeff came over today and watched me play xenosaga for a couple hours haha. I unplugged my clock, because telling time pisses me off when I've got nothing at all to do. So we didn't know what time it was till we came out of my room, and it turned out to be like 7. I think I get to go to laurens tomorrow, or she is coming to bridgewater. Yeah that's it, and then taylor is coming over after PCC and we are gonna hang out all together, and then I thought I was gonna go to taylor's after that, I'm not sure if those plans still stand though. Ah well, I'm gonna go now. cya

PS. Lauren told me not to shave till I saw her, and now my face is all itchy!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Hey I'm gonna copy this "last thing..." survey or something that was on cassie's site, because like the URL of my sight, I am Unoriginal.

Last cigarette: Three years ago. Wow..
Last car ride: huh...oh home from the mall yesterday
Last good cry: when I was eight I impaled my hand with a knife. And I almost cried when my mom took ill last year
Last library book checked out: Um, that hideous strength, by C.S. Lewis. I may still have it somehwere
Last movie seen: Terminator three with lauren. of course. Stupid.
Last book read: last book READ was this cartooning book I just got, last book finished...oh dear...I think something by stephen king.
Last cuss word uttered: I believe it was "shit in a basket."
Last beverage drank: Wild Cherry Pepsi
Last food consumed: um.....I had some burittos no, some chicken last night
Last crush: haha, crush. I remember one time when I was in second grade My mom's friend terri said that she thought I had a crush on Angela, but she did the thing grownups do when they spell out something so the kid can't hear it, and it took me about half an hour to figure out what she said. and then I blushed and got really mad. I didn't have a crush on her haha, she's like my sister. My last crush was lauren, and my current crush is lauren. and I like crush soda.
Last phone call: Uh...I think it was leah's house, to work out plans yesterday
Last TV show watched: family matters
Last time showered: about ten minutes ago
Last shoes worn: I dunno, they are blue, and look like fake adidas
Last CD played: The Pretty Things-S.F. Sorrow
Last item bought: oh dear..I think this pack of no, this soda I am drinking now
Last annoyance: lena, last night
Last disappointment: well I did just get out of the shower...(get it?!)
Last soda drank: isn't a soda a lot like a beverage?
Last thing written: well, I guess you must be refering to the last work of literature I have created. That would be some unformed poem crap that I write all the time.
Last word spoken: "album"
Last sleep: last night, I got like 6 hours, cheer for me!
Last IM: hang on... "GarthakQ: and dave is coming this year, which is cool"
Last sexual fantasy: psh, guys like me can't afford fantasies and other bullplop, it gets in the way of business....NOT SANDRA BULLOCK!!
Last weird encounter: when this lady came up to dave the other day and started talking to him because his last name was bergeron on his shirt.
Last ice cream eaten: psh, I dunno, I don't really like it. probably a chocolate chump like two years ago, those were the shiznit
Last time amused: uh...earlier today with dave and ryan, I dunno what was said
Last time wanting to die: I don't like this question. But since it is here, it brings up an interesting point. I have often fantasized about death, not for death itself, but just for a stop to...well having to deal with people, really. But I don't think I have ever actually WANTED it, because if I really really Wanted death, and not just a break, I would not be here right now. I know that for a fact, because I have had some crazy times. How's that for an answer, eh?
Last time in love: well, My best answer for this would be now. I don't know if what I have is actual LOVE, but I haven't ever felt anything stronger, and personally I don't think anything stronger is possible.
Last time hugged: Ryan, earlier, or Lauren E. I forget.
Last time scolded: Earlier today, maybe, I dunno I forget things a lot, really makes scolding worth it, eh?
Last chair sat in: Why the chair in front of my computer
Last lipstick used: I hate lipstick. I hate chapstick, I hate all mouth related Balms.
Last underwear worn: Girl's
Last bra worn: this one?!!! WHATS WITH THESE QUESTIONS?!!!
Last shirt worn: I think My mom made me wear a shirt for easter last year
Last time dancing: I don't dance, at the prom me and lauren danced I think once
Last web page visited: My site, or cassie's, either way

And that is that, g'bye everyone!

I'm going to copy kelly's idea and do this survey on my blog! whoohoo!!

1. What time is it? 9:14 AM (damn insomnia works both ways)
2. Name on birth certificate: John Paul Colón
3. Nickname (s): Johnny, Big Papa, sweet thing, on occasion hun (only two of those are real, pick them out and you get a nickel)
4. Parents names: Norm and Margaret
5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake: two, one for me and one for my dad

6. Date that you regularly blow them out: Welp, july 24th would be my birthday, but we always have a family party sometime in late july
7. Pets: two kitties!
8. Hair color: brownish/blackish, whatever
9. Piercing: I can't tell you that, You would think less of me.
10. Eye color: Brown, and GREEN! Lauren said so too everyone, I win!
......where did eleven go?
12. Hometown: Bridgewater, but for the sake of novelty, I'm going to say Americaville, USA
13. Current residence: bridgewat-..ahem, Americaville,USA
14. Favorite Food: I'm gonna have to go with chinese food too, please.
15. Been to Antarctica? Yeah actually, this one time when SOMEONE GAVE A DAMN ABOUT ANTARCTICA!
16. Been toilet papering? Yeah, at least once a day...(get it?)
17. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? I can't cry, it's impossible, I've tried. But if I could, I would constantly be in tears.
18. Been in a car accident? yeah BOY!
19. Croutons or bacon bits? croutons, one time, I thought a beef bullion cube was a crouton and I ate it, and it made me throw up.
20. Sprite or 7up? Sprite all the way, 7up sucks. Except for the cool spot guy, what eever happened to him? I remember Tim V. used to have a coolspot game for Genesis and we would play it alot, it was bitchin, the graphics were so go for that day in age, even though it was just one of those side scrolling mascot games you see alot of.
21. Favorite Book? The DragonBone Chair, by Tad Williams. There are four others in the series, but I had to make it favorite book not favorite series so I went with the first one
22. Favorite Holiday? Thanksgiving, my whole family is there, and there is food and el pindel and those crazy roll things everyone loves. I wish it was thanksgiving now!
23. Favorite day of the week: Any day but freaking tuesday. Tuesday is such a little bitch

....and wheres twenty-four??
25. Favorite Restaurant: T.K. Omalley's, Omalley, the alley cat. (I just left kelly's and reference aristocats.)

26. Favorite Toothpaste: Colgate Sensitive, or something
27. Favorite flowers: roses, I only say this because lauren made me get her one once, and it made her happy so I love them now.
28. Favorite drink: Fresca! that's right, fresca has, in my humble opinion, now beaten dr. pepper. I'm sorry taylor.
29. Favorite sport to watch: SLAMBALL!! WOOOOOO!
30. Preferred type of ice cream : I don't really like ice cream, so I'm going to take this opportunity to speak about something that has been on my mind. Now, we all know that there are alot of homosexuals in our society today, but you know what? Name One who became an astronaut! That's right, astrophysical homophobia is far too prominent in the ranks of our elite, and I for one will not stand for it. Think about it? Who would make a better astronaut, then an overly clean, industrious queer. Let me tell you, no one. Gays Into Spay! (ce) Gays Into Spay! (ce)
31. Favorite Sesame Street Character: the one with the nice rack
32.Disney or Warner Bros? I like looney tunes, and I like old trippy disney cartoons, so I say, anything between 1939 and 1975 for both of them
33. Favorite Fast Food Resturant? The Foxy Lady
34. When was your last hospital stay? uh, about a year ago
35. What color is your bedroom carpet? it's a mixture of a wierd brownish color (that's mainly dirt) and all the drinks that have been spilt on it over the years
36. How many times did you fail your drivers test? I haven't taken it. But I'm sure kelly will do swimmingly!
37. Who was the last person you got email from? actually it was "gamespy" telling me that they have F-Zero in stock now. But I already bought it at this pawn shop place. *sigh*
38. Do you sing in the shower? I'm not gonna tell you what I do in the shower, let's just say, I use alot of shamPOO.
39. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? Would someone tell me what I was insinuating in my last statement? cause I don't get it.
40. What do you do most often when you get bored? play a game, or go online and do crappy surveys
41. Name the person that you are friends with who lives the farthest away: actually...well it may be erin c. I forgot where she lives, but it may actually be kelly, all the way in fall river. Unless I still have friends in maine or something I don't remember
42. Bedtime: lately around 2 am
43. Who will respond to this email the quickest?: im not emailing, im posting! That's right kelly, that's my boy!!
44. Who is the person you sent this email to that is least likely to respond? anyone who really cares for me at all would respond. *tear*
45. Ever really badly wanted to kiss someone? Yes. and it always really happens when her mom is there or something.
46. Favorite TV show: The simpsons, or family guy, or futurama, or king of the hill. Matt groening you genius!!
47. Last person you went out to dinner with? huh, I dunno. Me and lauren were gonna but we ordered in instead. She got me a jethro tull DVD, man she's great!
48. Ford or Chevy? Let me ask you a more important question, Gerald Ford or Chevy Chase? huh? HUH!?
49. Time when you finished this email? 9:37 AM wow I was done prescisely nine hours after kelly
50. Mary Ann or Ginger? Ginger, because ginger is a ho. ;^D

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

OK, I am here now to rant and rave about my current feelings because I don't think I am going to be able to talk to lauren tonight and she is the only one I can really do that with so I might as well type it out. Ok she is online now but I am gonna rant anyway. I just got in a big tiff with my sister, and I have decided that all kids, everywhere, ever, are exactly the same. I don't care what kind of music you like, I don't care what lifestyle you have, when you are 13, everyone is oppressing you, you are individual, think for yourself, have the only good taste in music, and of course, you parents have no FREAKING clue what life before 25 is like. I'm not going to by hypocritical and say that I didn't go through that, and I know if anyone says that they didn't, they are full of shit. everyone has their "own" way of dealing with it (that is to say, everyone decides to be like one of five different clones that some actual original person thought up) again, I want through it, you say you haven't and you are a damn rotten liar. AND no matter how hard someone explains to you, no matter how much they try to get it through to you, no matter how many people you talk to, if anyone, I mean, ANYONE says anything even remotely like they know what you are going through, if ANYONE tries to protect you from going down the wrong path. You will be the biggest bitch anyone will ever know. You will whine and complain until your throat hurts, you will go out and smoke and be cool and hang out with your other secret misfit friends and think that they "understand you" that they are the only people you really "fit in" with. You know what, barring some extraneous circumstances (don't worry I know alot of my friends very closely, and I know that Parents vary and that although in a lot of cases {such as mine} parents know what's up, there are others that will remain unnamed where you guys remain blameless for the most part) but barring those, The people you probably "fit in" best are your parents, or at least welladjusted adults. Because they know precisely what temptations and situations you went through, really no matter who you are. And the kids you hang out with are just going to have the same angst and BS you do so you will all go down the shitter. So here is my advice to anyone under 15; YOU ARE WRONG. About pretty much everything you think other than what your parents or some well-adjusted adult told you, YOU ARE WRONG. Give up arguing now, you'll just get in trouble. G'day


Hey hey. I know you all may have been wondering, or none of you may have been wondering, how my painting is going. Let me tell you, I painted for over an hour last night, I had a sketch done that I wanted to paint, I had motivation, and it took me about tne minutes and three sheets of paper before I realized that I don't know SH*T about painting, at all! Everything I know I learned in third grade, and I've forgotten most of that. I'm asking Jackie, (an artist and friend of our family) to show me how. Good GOD it was bad! Well, I dunno what I am doing today, it's almost nine AM. I should have been able to sleep late I was up till like 3:30 but whatcha gonna do. I wanna see lauren today, I dunno if it'll work but it would be fun if it did. Dave was gonna go to the store to get a game or something, maybe her and leah could go there too or some'at. eh? I dunno I'm not good at planning. All I know is I have this awesome easle, alot of supplies, brushes, and paint, and absolutely no painting talent. *is sad* I know it grows in time, that's the best I can hope for. And jackie has really been wanting to teach me how, because she has seen my cartoons. Well, I'm out fellas, g'day!

Monday, July 28, 2003

This is crazy, some stupid survey that is obviously not meant to be true actually has a pretty astute answer. eh? Check it!

my method of suicide: hanging.

how would you commit suicide?

YOU WOULD HANG YOURSELF. you both crave and fear death. you're fairly certain that you wouldn't actually commit suicide, but you often fantasize about it because you can't think of any other way to escape living a life that you hate. you're wary about doing anything irreversible and you have a healthy awareness of the repercussions of your actions.


Sunday, July 27, 2003

Hey everybody. today was me and my dad's birthday party, man it was fun. I got to hang out with my family, even the black side haha. Sidenote, I was saying goodbye to my brother in law, keith, and I went to shake his hand and he said, "Here, I'll make you part of the family." and did this elaborate handshake with me and then pointed at me and goes, "Now you're black!" hahaha. Man it was funny, I love my family. My parents teamed up with my cousins and the ferills and got me this big art set, an easel, some canvases and stuff, man it was sweet. I can't wait to do some painting, I gotta find some tutorials and stuff to do it well. I also got 60 dollars. I got a twelve pack of fresca (woo!) and a new toothbrush (...woo) now I am chilling at dave's. I think we are gonna try out clock tower 2 later. I have yet to try it and I have owned it for months. haha, well whatcha gonna do? My niece went to disney land for a week or two. whenever she leaves I feel like a girl, because I get sad that she is gone. I remember when she was 3, and she had to move to michigan for a year, and she was crying so hard but I am unable to cry for some reason, so all I could do was hug her and say I would visit. man, she is 8. 8!! How did she turn 8? I was there when my dad could hold her in one hand! I remember she used to sleep on maria's stomache face down, with her legs bended funny, like under her stomach wierd in a way that would be uncomfortable for anything in the world besides a one month old baby, and her hair was all huge and stuff. For lack of a manlier word, it was so damn adorable. well that's it for now, I'm out to watch G4, even though taylor hates it. I love you all!

PS: Lauren got a new dress to wear for my party, and although she didn't like it was a dress, she looked positively GORGEOUS. well that's really it. take care y'all. (I'm black now, remember?"

Hello everyone, I have just woken up from a long slumber, you see; I had had about a week of poor sleep, followed by a 30 hour stint at the lockin (barring one half hour doze) of total awareness. So at about 12 o'clock yesterday afternoon, I took some benadryl, and slept till 6:30 am this morning. After my fully refreshed and malodorous self went to the bathroom and expelled the truly astounding amount of urine I had lying dormant in my bladder, I grabbed a stale, flat open can of pepsi and came to the computer to tell of my recent experiences. The age we live in, where mankind can be what they truly are; Lazy. I enjoyed the lockin a great deal, Lauren and Dave were there, and other than Ben and JimmyBoy (who played instruments and stuff for most of the night and didn't hang out with us much) we were the only three of our age group. Dave had to work on saturday so he tried to sleep and stuff (fellas); it didn't work very well but it still left me and lauren lying together on one couch talking and watching 'the newsies' and family guy all night. Best night of my life, truly. Oh dear, I've just remembered that my birthday party is today. Huh, I don't remember if I invited all the people I was going to...I meant to invite leah, and kelly, etc. but I can't remember if I did. I invited Erin W. I know that, and...I dunno. I'll tell leah about it now online, there done. I think tim said that kelly couldn't come for one reason or another, I don't remember, but that's ok. If anyone else didn't get told about it, I will blame lauren, she should'be foreseen my horrible forgetfullness and invited people for me. Watch she did, that would be funny. Oh well, if you didn't get told about it, it's nothing against you, it's just that I can't remember things. It's gonna be funny, because lauren is going, and my whole family is going to be meeting her for really the first time haha. Oh well, I'll have a fun time watching all this. well fellas, I gotta run and stuff please. Cya later!

PS. the odd 'fellas' 'and stuff's and 'please's were to poke fun at dave, because he does that alot.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Hey, I am blocked from emails and instant messages, sorry guys. It really blows, but, oh well. I'm feeling kinda down. I'm gonna go drink some coffee.

Monday, July 21, 2003

Hey, I have a startling revelation for you all. The simpsons, futurama, family guy. All funny cartoons, yes, BUT they are linked, and here is how! The simpsons is the earliest part in the cartoon world evolution, it's cruder, and of course the skin tones are different. Then, a later evolution in this world is Family Guy, it's more defined, with a more physically workable system. Bart is alive during this portion of evolution, as Fry, he travels forward in time to be in Futurama. That's it. Welp, g'bye.

hey guys, here is a comic for you. I thought it was pretty funny, I hope you like haha.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Hey hey all, I am at dave's house, and have decided to update my site/fix my links. Dave is fighting the most annoying boss in OOT, Bongo Bongo. How I loathe him. It took me and my mom like a week and a half before we figured it out. I got it on my own she used a guide! :^D DAVE BEAT HIM!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha, good work dave! he even went so far in his gloating to call him, "Bongo...BOOB!" haha, oh I love zelda. Well I'm gonna fix my links now, g'bye!!

Friday, July 18, 2003

Hey hey all, lauren is away in maine :^( but that doesn't mean we can't dance, dance, dance the night away! *proceeds to dance* I had too much espresso today, and the leaks in my house keep making "drip, drip, drip, drip" noises, and I have new art stuff, so I'm gonna be up late tonight. I thought, I might as well write while I can, then I remembered, I CAN'T! *bada chish* I just cracked my neck and it hurt alot, and the pain isn't going away haha. Ah well. Dave has grown a zealousness for getting our comic site up, as of late. It's great to have a friend who is really industrious, I myself am really lazy, the only reason I am working more on comics today is because:

1. I have new a comic inking/calligraphy pen set, it's fantastic, as well as two perfectly sized pencils and a new eraser, and a load of paper. I have set up my "studio" I guess you could call it, to my satisfaction, hooray!

2. Dave wants me to, haha.

3. I'm feeling REALLY inspired lately, I know I am not a very good artist, but I have finally decided that whatever imodicom of talent I possess, I LIKE using it, so burn in hell everyone!

yeah that's essentially it. I feel really pompous having written all this though. I really had no choice I had to write about how I feel right now, that's what you got. Also lately I was thinking about people. (You know where that can get you) About how our whole society is fueled by sex craving, superfical, wordly materialistic bastards, who wouldn't know aesthetic emotions if they picked them up by their nipples with mousetraps. Seriously, if I had my way (and I know I never will) Everyone who so much as ignored the horrible mutilations being performed on whatever culture we once had would instantly have their fingers cut off and fed to them! That's all I got, I just wanted to let it be known that I loathe most of my contemporaries, who actually wouldn't be reading this anyway. G'night everyone!

Thursday, July 17, 2003

hey hey everyone, I went to lauren's house today. We went and saw "terminator 3", which was pretty good, On a scale of pi to 3.9, I'd say a 3.856. Which is a pretty good score, given that most movies that came out past 2001 got a score of -5 from me. welpey woo, uh, I'm gonna go now, cya!

PS: Jessie is moving to florida tomorrow, she will be sorely missed. G'bye!

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Hey hey everyone. WHA!


If you think you know what's what
And if you think that you know how
To answer all Man's eager questions
If this is so, then tell me now
Then come and take a walk with me
A relaxing stroll down madness lane
And you will think again, you'll see
Once You see, what once was Sane.

I hate damn stupid lo-fi blogger!!!!!!!!!

hello hello hello. Ryan is back!! Hoooooraaaaaay! *begins to dance the coco-bong* speaking of bongo! I have to talk to tim about going to niles today with bongos and flutey thing and guit-fiddle so we can do some more recording of stuff. Man that's fun. I don't actually do anything besides yell and tap, but that's ok. I wrote the lyrics to the song we wanna do so I count technician. Yes that will do. Dave is setting up a site for comics for me, which is mondo-bitchin, and he's now got adobe on his computer, so I can color my comics with it after I scan them and such. man it's gonna be sweet! I'm going to ask my mum to drive me to an art store, I want to get a canvas, to do a painting. I know it's still going to look cartoony because that's how I work, but hey! Dr. Suess did it! haha. Well, lauren is going away for a while *sigh* I forgot how long, all I know is, I'm going to cut off a finger for every day she is gone. You know what I realized? I have been hanging out with Ryan for about five months, at the most, and it feels like he's one of the kids I have known my whole life. Same with jeff. and same with dave, and tim, and joe, and dan, and taylor, and ben. Most of those I have known my whole life, except taylor, I've only known him seven years! it felt like I knew him my whole life after one though, even though my whole lif was significantly shorter at the time. I think me and taylor are alot alike, we both draw halfassed comics, we both have long hair, we both hate most of the population of the world (especially that POMPOUS ASS BRAZIL) and we both like the song white riot, although him maybe a little more. The one difference is of course, fresca. I love fresca, I don't know if he does, but I love it. More than anyother non-dr. pepper soda. Mmmmmhmmm. Well on that note, g'bye everybody! if you look closely, you may notice a few new links, and a smaller font to the site!

Sunday, July 13, 2003

I drew a comic I really liked last night, mind you it needs some editing and stuff, it's not like, really funny, or anything, but I like the way I actually DREW it, I got a cool perspective and stuff, as opposed to my usual "two guys standing there, talking and maybe killing each other". I thought it was pretty nice actually. I want to bring it to taylor's house and use his better computer to color it and stuff, maybe shave it down till it looks the way I want. I need a better computer, otherwise I coulda done that last night. Hopefully when I start working or whatever, I can save up some money for a while and buy a computer in a few months, that would be nice. I have alot of stuff I want to buy, lately, just because I've found myself getting deeper again into gaming and stuff. For a while it was, for me anyway, just a couple n64 games and of course zelda, but then taylor came along and lent me his ps1, and I never looked back. well, I'm done, gotta go to church today. Cya'll later!

Friday, July 11, 2003

Hey everyone, Taylor and I are at the Engley's house. Again, no one else is here, as usual, but that's ok, I can deal. Lauren is away for the day :^( But, you know, I can deal. Taylor will substitute, he has....sorry I was caught up in my raucous manlove with taylor. GAD! taylor just told me I have been spelling the word "weird" wrong for a long time. Damn, I feel stupid now, I know all you guys were just snickering at me everytime I said "wierd" huh?! Why didn't anyone say anything?!? I'm totally upset with all of you!! ahem, sorry for yelling. Joe and Tim and Dave and Jeff came over yesterday and then we (joe) played tenchu 3 for a long long time, then we stopped and I borrowed tenchu 2 for a while, which is cool. I'm pretty tired, because I have no coffee today *sleepy* I'm gonna screw taylor till his head pops off. Cya.

man I had a whole long talk in my head that I was going to write, but I forgot all but this...

Let me explain this to you; everyone is born with the potential for madness in them, some are just closer to that line than others. I am the offspring of two such people.

there you go, that was going to be the end of the thing I was gonna write, or the middle, or the beginning, and I had such a flow, but I forgot it all in the cheep thrill of vegas. Welp, g'bye!

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

hey hey everyone, how are things? I am grand, chilling at dave's, currently. He got a new tv today, well a new used tv, but it's crazy not working right now and it pisses me off so much. BAH! We were so close, cause the tv was all small and it was annoying and stuff, and we were so stoked that there was a bigger tv now, but alas, it failed. ah well, dave and I had lauren leah and erin at his house today. I like that I can refer to dave and I as a pair, i think we would make a great gay couple, were we gay. *sigh* oh well, I'll have to settle for lauren *pretends to be dissapointed* welpy woo, I am off to destroy the souls of the living. g'night!

Monday, July 07, 2003

I'm wicked sleepy.

Hey everyone, this is a crazy nightwriting I wrote last night, I would have put it on my blog then, but I was denied online access. I am a messed up guy haha, mind you, this was all written under a different frame of mind then I am usually in.

"It is...1 am. I have just gotten out of the shower, and dried off with a warm towel. I maintain, most tenaciously, that the single best earthly phenomenon is drying off with a warm towel. Such an act is almost divine in nature, it is truly comforting to witness the pleasure that can be taken from such infintismal things. After drying off, to the best of my ability (which was difficult given the shower-steamed state of the bathroom), I moved to my room and attempted to draw, to no avail. I tried to go online, to no avail. I sat and thought for a long time on what to do with my insomnia tonight, and it was all essentially to no avail. So I write. There is a bug in my drink, I don't care, I will drink anyway. There, I think I have just dispatched of the bug, he is well on his way to his enzymie-doom. I had a long conversation with Lauren tonight, her friend Leah was there. I felt kind of regretful over having left Leah out to her own devices while I took her friend away from her, but what is done is done, as they say. I am a terrible writer, I am sure any reader of this is lost beyond comparison at this point. I may be posting this on my blog tomorrow, if I do not you have been spared this confusion, although you will never know it. During my talk with Lauren (mind you she is in a silly state, at this particular portion of the lunar cycle) she said something to the effect of, "I love you, and all your friends do too.". She of course said this because I am a self deprecating bastard and I make he sad and sympathetic with my whiny ways. But it lead me to think, why do any people like me? At all? Let alone the somewhat, large portion of the people who I have met? There is a name for what I am, what I act like, what I PRETEND to be, it is *sshole. Everything I do is pretend! Everyone just acts like that isn't true, but it is! I do not even know if I am writing how I truly feel right now, because in an hour or so after completing this composition I am going to look back and see how I faked this. Or am I not? Your guess is as good as mine, reader. Let me try and put things in perspective to all who read this, chances are if I "know" you, you have the entirely wrong idea of who I am. Even those closest to me, there are few I have confided in. I find it hard to tell Lauren entirely how I feel about things, because I am afraid she will leave me. I find it difficult, on a smaller scale, to tell Dave entirely how I feel about things, because I am afraid that once he knows how I really am, he won't hang around with me. I love all my friends with all my heart, but I am not real to them. No matter how much I try to be so, I can never do it. EVEN THIS IS SELFISH! This beating down on myself bullsh*t, will I ever grow up?! Will I ever just figure out what I need to do and stop bothering people and hurting myself with my constant feigned matyrdom? Good God, if it were up to Me, I'd kill myself, but I won't let Me do that. Goodnight everyone, I am sorry for wasting your time."

That's it, kinda crazy eh? I tried to go back and cover up the few swears and stuff haha. My stupid mouse is pissing me off, it refuses to click correctly. I didn't know that would be so annoying. Ah well, you learn something new every day. G'day all.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

stupid lauren is making me do this survey *sigh* ah well. I'm just gonna get it over with fast to spite her.

+ 001. name : John
+ 002. nicknames : Johnny
+ 003. sex : Yes please! (oh come on, you were just begging for that one)
+ 004. birthday : 4/31/54 (haha, I'm a liar)
+ 005. age : according to my birthday...49
+ 006. star sign : boobs
+ 007. place of birth : middleboro
+ 008. current residence : bridgewater, yo'
+ 009. hair color : black/brown
+ 010. eye color : I still think they are green!
+ 011. height : I think I might be like 6 feet tall, I don't know
+ 012. writing hand : I can write with my right, and draw with both

+ 013. do you bite your nails : no, kelly's grooooooss!! haha, just kidding sillypants
+ 014. can you roll your tongue : yes (hehe)
+ 016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : yep, I practice in front of a mirror
+ 017. can you blow smoke rings : yep! well, no not really, I just wanted to be like gandalf
+ 018. can you blow spit bubbles : nopearoo, Although I don't really want to it's kinda gross
+ 019. can you cross your eyes : yeah, but only to shoot lasers
+ 020. colored hair : not that you can see. (get it?)
+ 021. tattoos and where : hehe, keep it clean survey
+ 022. piercings and where : I revert you to answer 21
+ 023. do you make your bed daily : I have a couch, not a bed
+ 024. what goes on first bra or underwear :I don't wear bras! but as long as there are no follow up questions, of course underwears.
+ 025. which shoe goes on first : it varies (unrelated joke, on a scale of one to ten, I am REALLY drunk)
+ 036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : yeah, but not in anger haha
+ 037. how much money is usually in your wallet : not much, when I have alot of money I use a altoids can or something.
+ 038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7 : ...let's not get into that
+ 039. whats sexiest on a guy: long curly blond hair, *looks endearingly at jeff*
+ 040. whats sexiest on a girl: hm...I dunno, but lauren always seems to hit it right
+ 041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: I don't care
+ 042. do you twirl your spagetti or cut it : BURN IN HELL!
+ 043. how many cereals are in your cabinet: I don't have a cabinet, thank you for pointing out my poverty, dick.
+ 044. what utensils do you use eating pizza : utensils? are you calling me gay?!
+ 045. do you cook: of course I wang..cook....cook wang.

+ 046. how often do you brush your teeth:thrice a day!
+ 047. how often do you shower/bathe: twice a day, usually
+ 048. how long do these showers last: half an hour to an hour
+ 049. hair drying method : towel
+ 050. do you paint your nails : no, and I don't get why girls do! it doesn't make sense!
+ 051. do you swear : yeah, I try not to overly though
+ 052. do you mumble to yourself : mumble? I yell to myself, I have full conversations with myself aloud. In school I am known as the ghost, and I am worshiped by the dyslexics. See I can say stuff about dyslexics, cause they can't read it!
+ 053. do you spit in public : every day!
+ 054. do you pee in the shower : no haha, I have to stand in there!
+ 055. in the cd player : are you saying what is in my cd player? because that young
+ 056. person you talk most on the phone with : lauren, I don't really see a need to talk with other people
+ 057. what color is your bedroom : white, and blue haha
+ 058. do you use an alarm clock : I try, but I hit it with things and unplug it alot
+ 059. name four things or people you're obsessed with : Closed doors, showering, writing, sandra bullock
+ 060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : I've..never skinny dipped ever. Wouldn't the first question have to be "have you ever skinny dipped?"
+ 061. ever sunbathed in the nude : no haha, wow that would be wierd.
+ 062. window seat or aisle : never tried either
+ 063. whats your sleeping position : I dunno, wherever I land
+ 064. what kind of bed do you like : my couch haha
+ 065. in hot weather do you use a blanket : yep, every time
+ 066. do you snore : yes, like a buzzsaw filled with angry loud hamsters
+ 067. do you sleepwalk : no, dave does haha, oh it's funny
+ 068. do you talk in your sleep : DITTO! wow that's cool
+ 070. how about the light on : yeah, or the window open for light to shine in, cause I'm scared of the dark haha
+ 071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : never, what losers do that?

+ 072. had sex : every day
+ 073. were kissed or kissed someone : just now, dave is an animal
+ 074. watched bambi : the...porno?
+ 075. cried : when dave beat me last night
+ 076. talked on the phone : uh...eight years ago
+ 077. read a book : a long time ago, much to my chagrin
+ 078. punched someone : just now
+ 079. where do you see yourself ten years from now : dead
+ 080. who are you gonna be married to and where: a starfish, in the ocean, duh
+ 081. how many kids do you want to have : starfish lay alot of eggs.
+ 082. your profession : professional starfish marrier
+ 083. future school : dancy pants U

+ 090. is music important to you : yeah, I guess, it relieves boredom and stuff. (dave sucks)
+ 091. do you sing? : nope, I hate my voice.
+ 092. what instruments do you play? : I play bongos kinda, my dad taught me to
+ 094. what do you think of Eminem : I think he has talent, I guess, but his entire persona, and career are fabricated processed media bullsh*t.
+ 095. in your opinion, what band is the best of all time? : um, well, jethro tull I guess is third, valhalla and dingus are tied for second. then there is 616 in first haha.

+ 096. pop music : meh
+ 097. rock music : not really contemporary popular rock, that stuff blows
+ 098. punk music : yeah I guess, not the current fad punk though
+ 099. rap music : meh
+ 100. hip-Hop/RB : there is some coolass r+b out man, you gots to check this
+ 101. country : sometimes
+ 102. jazz : booyeah grandma
+ 103. classical : sometimes
+ 104. new age : meh
+ 105. hardcore : actually, yes, cause dave and joe listen to some of it alot, and it's quite enjoyable
+ 106. indie rock : I'm going to answer that question with a resounding "dave sucks!"
+ 107. emo : haha

hey everyone, hey I have a riddle for you. What has six std's, does crack, has four arms, no liver, a wierd nose, a mammoth ego, and a job? You guessed right! ME!! Mainly the job part is the best thing. Yep, I have a job now, woohoo! well, I'm gonna go pretend lauren is here and kiss a pillow. seeya!

Saturday, July 05, 2003

Hey guys, I am copying kelly's site! hurrah!!

//name; Johnnybo
// birthday; (TAYLOR!!) 7/24/87 (does anyone else find it really hard to remember the exact date of their birthday? I know "july 24th" but when it's all number like that, and the year, and stuff, man!)
// nationality; Puerto (taylor!!) Rican, predominately, but also a dash of irish, and other things
// screen name; GarthakQ
// hair length; the largest uniform portion goes to about the small of my back (TAYLOR!!), and the rest slopes down from a little below my chin, to that length, it's all about a foot long
// hair color; brown/black
// eye color; always get the impression that they are slightly greenish, but no one ever believes me
// piercings;*runs off*
// tattoos; I want to tattoo a shirt on myself, so I will never have to change. (taylor!!) I'll have to vary the people I see from day to day though, or else they will question why I wear the same shirt all the time

// color; sex! (I had to throw that in)
// perfume; whatever appley stuff lauren always wears, that get's stuck in my head. I didn't know smells could do that! (taylor!!)
// t.v. show; simpsons (the older ones), family guy, futurama, mst3k, I dunno, alot (taylor!!)
// movie; my current FAVORITE movie is...I guess the one I have put the most thought about lately is Memento.(taylor!!) it's a bitchin one
// band/singer; jethro tull, grateful dead, bane (dave and joe kinda got me hooked), ltj, not their newer stuff as much) ac dc, zeppelin, beatles, I dunno, those are in no particular order by the way, just saying as comes to mind. there is more, but to save time I am not writing all of them, I find it more economic to write a paragraph describing the way in which I conserve space and energy.
// subject; hm...english. I think this is the first time I have given a legitamate answer to a question like that on a survey.
// fruit; mangos, or kiwis *measures imaginary wieghts in hands (taylor!!)*
// month; ...febtober
// season; early spring, when it is drab, and moist, but cool.(taylor!!) The kind of weather new england is renowned for, the kind that makes big hair go flat and white skin look pasty. I love it, cause I have neither of those.
// holiday; christmas, of course. I cannot imagine anyone avoiding all mainstream organized religions enough to not have christmas, it's just so fun, not even for the christian part, family and new stuff, (taylor!!) and lots of food, who can deny that?
// saying; "that's what she said!"

do questions!
// do you believe in love at first sight? How about, love at first sight, in retrospect? because, the situation I have is peculiar. I remember gradually growing feelings for lauren, yet I also remember somehow subconciously avoiding nurturing relationships with other girls in anticipation of a growing relationship with her, (taylor!!) although I hardly knew her till like a year and a half ago, that was kinda going on for two and a half years or so. Or maybe I'm just ugly and self deluding. haha.
// do you get along with your parents? yes, I love my family so much, even though I get in spats with them alot. Because I know no matter how much I screw up, and fail, and be a dick, they will feel guilty (taylor!!) enough to let their family member sleep in their garage someday.
// do you think about suicide? not anymore
// do you drink? No
// do you do drugs? No
// do you smoke? No, and I'm going to elaborate on this and the two predescessors to this question. I don't use any mind altering substances because, first of all, Lauren told me not to (I'm so whipped) and second of all, because I get addicted to things way (taylor!!) to easily and I don't want to do that, and third of all, I have seen where that can take people, and thusly am avoiding it, because no matter how much you say "that won't happen to ME" you have to know that everyone else said that before they got knocked up,
// do you think you have multiple personalities? I think I do, actually, this is the more casual form of john answering these questions now, sometimes I get more bitchy, and sometimes I get depressed, (taylor!!) and sometimes I get...ass-like. I like this one the best. The point is, I get unexplainable emotions and it makes interactions with other people entirely different, I could be a whole different guy one day then I was the last. It's wierd.

have questions!
// have you ever smoked? hm, I'm going to answer the rest of the questions I find akward to answer with the word "fantango" because I know (taylor!!) certain people of a mom-ish nature will read this. Fantango
// have you ever done drugs? fantango
// have you ever drank alcohol? fantango
// have you ever gotten drunk? fantango
// have you ever made out with just a friend? fantango
// have you ever used someone? Nope! *big happy grins*
// have you ever been used? probably, I'm an oblivious guy, but used to what end? (taylor!!)*starts a series of mystery novellettes*
// have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have? hm....I don't know, because the way my mind works has shot down any ideas of actually getting someone, so I have never known if I had any chances. I'm lucky lauren somehow destroyed the star troopers gaurding my brain death star, and rescued the princess leia of my self esteem

best questions!
// best person to talk to; all o' my chums. Although I love talking to all of them, I'd have to say tim and ryan are tied, tim, because he can relate his ENTIRELY DIFFERENT life situations to mine and help out somehow, (taylor!!) and ryan....because he is a smart as god on crack.
// best relationship; I think our whole little crew is just one giant person, and we amuse ourself
// best feeling; drying off with a warm towel. oh! and this one time when we were watching a movie somewhere, I think at a lockin or something, (taylor!!) me and lauren were sitting on this couch, facing the tv, and she fell asleep in my arms for a coupla minutes. That was the best, cause..I dunno, it was just blissful.
// best thing in the world; gopher holes
// best stuffed animal you own; spotty (taylor!!) squishy red bear colón
// best thing that happened to you yesterday or today; saw alot of my chums at taylors (doesn't count!) house.

last questions!
// last time you cried? when I was eight, I impaled my hand with a knife.
// last movie you saw in a theater? "the incredible hulk" or as I like to call it, "the QUITE credible hulk" haha, or how about this, "the most dreadable bulk" hahaha, or maybe, maybe, "the hangdangable hooplah"! wait that last one sucked. (taylor!!) It was a pretty good movie though.
// last movie you rented? I think...the ring, haha
// last movie you bought? carwash angels 2 (hehe, that's porn! seriously though, I have never purchased a movie, (taylor!!) it's odd kinda)
// last song you listened to? some bane thing
// last song you downloaded? a song by phillis willis' band, I forget what it's called
// last tv show you watched? king of the hill
// last song that was stuck in your head? ............................shake a leg, by ac dc
// last person you were thinking of? taylor, actually. By the way, he said to mention him alot in this thingy, so I'm gonna throw him in here and there, maybe even go back to the beginning and stuff. let's see if you can find them, it's a game. Count all the ones you find, then email me at my contact link, and send me the number, if you are right, you win a free oven mitt! also, you get a second oven mitt if you tell me what the first oven mitt's quote was from.
// last person you talked to; lauren/leah
// last person you hugged; taylor (this one doesn't count, it is an answer, I will maybe give you some leeway if you say it as part of the answer though)
// last person you kissed; oh that's a toughie, all the people I guess the last one I can (taylor!!) remember DEFINATELY was lauren, but really, your guess is as good as mine, they all blend together. *prepares to be beaten with sticks by incredible hulk-esque lauren*
// last person you went to eat out with; ....taylor (this one also doesn't count, it's a legitamate answer. NO LEEWAY FOR THIS ONE, EITHER!) and dave.
// last person you slow danced with; again, another*thinks for several minutes* I'm just gonna go with "lauren" again she's the only defined face I can pick out in my crowd of slowdance memories
// last person you yelled at; LEAH! I'll kill (taylor!!) her someday!!
// last person you called; timly
// last person who called you; daveypoo
// last person who made you smile? lauren/leah (they are on the same comtuper [I mispelled that on purpose])
// last person who made you laugh? joey joe joe
// last person who said they loved you? lauren hehe

love and relationships!
// who is your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? jeff, unnofficially. (taylor!!) and lauren, but she is just a side dish for the main course, which is jeff.
// what do you first notice in the opposite sex? EARS! I finally figured it out today, I notice ears! I think that earings are the most attractice of jewelries. they look so elegant, and frame the rest of the face, and everything. Haha.
// are you currently in love? yes, (taylor!!) as far as I can tell, this is love, or at least the closest to it I have ever felt
// first crush; girl named faith. me being the pansy I am never spoke more than ten words to her. haha
// last crush; am I dead? I guess my last, and current one, (taylor!!) would have to be jeff. he's only a slight lead from lauren though
// first love; literature. and gaming
// ideal date; I don't want a "date" I want to be able to wake up, around 11, shower, and dress in comfortable clothes (nothing fancy or any crap like that) get in a mediocre car, drive a little ways, pick up my love, and go to a coffee shop with her, get some espresso or something. I am so effeminate, god it freaks me out. (taylor!!) By the way, all those questions where I said something derogatory about my feelings for lauren were just to tease her, I actually love her enough to kill a moose. cyall later!

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Hello everyone. I really hate this new blogger, it's intolerable! I am rather bored as of now, I went to lauren's house today, and the aftermath is all loneliness and a want for coffee. Ah well, here is a quote from my favorite book ever!

Piercing my heart is a golden dagger,
That is God.
Piercing God's heart is a golden needle,
That is Me.

Pretty cool eh? Look it up, it's the epic saga of Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn. The first book is entitled "The Dragonbone Chair" it's by Tad Williams, best read I have ever partaken of, that should movietize it. You know what?! the rest of the dark tower series is coming out this year! GLORIOUS! If you have not read the dark tower series, in any form, by stephen king, you should be shot, barring people of a lauren-ish nature. It starts off with "The Gunslinger" the plot is so good you will kick yourself in the balls so hard that you will puke all over your balls, and also your ass. That is a rob quote, he got it from a british magazine or something, I dunno. I feel like going to tim's, but he is probably on the phone with kell-dawg about now, speaking of which, I am currently changing her link to the livejournal one, I know I am a little slow on the uptake, I don't know why I bother, anyone who goes here has her site adress anyway. Does anyone else have Porn Site Bots signing their guestbooks? it's hilarious! a laugh a minute, one of them said my site was a "good showing of my own personal goodness" haha, another said it was "sexy, stylish, and provocative" what the hell is that, eh? well, I am gonna finish this up now, I love you all, so much I want to kick myself in the balls so hard I will puke, all over my balls, and also my ass. Much love yo'

Quote for right now (yeah I know it's been a while): "sorry mom, I guess will just have to hang from the cieling in space boots." Ryan is a comic genius. Farewell!


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