The Obscure

hello everybody,I don't really have anything to talk about...huh. My mind was so full of creativity earlier today, I was gonna do some writing, but now my once fruitful day has been squandered on meaningless trivial bullplop. I really wish I was able enough to undertake the tasks I set for myself sometimes, all the writing and art work I want to do. I can do it, but it would take work, and I am chronically lazy, and I never feel well, I think I should go see a doctor, or a psychiatrist. I think not falling asleep till (on average) 1:30 in the morning and waking up (on average) 6:30 am, for four years, has worn me down to the point at which I cannot function as a normal human being. I really think I should get sleeping aids, or something, or some sort of coping mechanism to rid me of my anxieties so that sleep would come easier. but, I probably won't, there's no point really, what would I try and be healthy for? so I can work ok? I don't work anyway, even if I were in good health, I would be too lazy to work haha. What I need, is a little leprechaun, with one of those zappy stick things, that they drive bulls with, to sit on my shoulder and zap-stick me when ever I wasn't doing what I should. Yes, then I would get work done. I was looking back on my life a couple of nights ago, and I have realized that I have never fully been stable. I've had my lucid moments, yes, but I have always returned to my odd self, always scampering back to my differentiating views after tasting what was considered normal. So, I have deduced, after much thought, that I am perhaps not as insane as I once thought, but just very childish, with such niavete about things, social situations, pretty much everything, and I get so self concious and embarassed and paranoid, it's just like a five year old. It's settled, I'm not crazy, just 5. haha, welp, I'm gonna go now, cya later!