The Obscure

Hey hey, I'm not updating much because I have focused my efforts on comic-izin, as opposed to writing this crap that no one cares about nor reads, barring maybe lauren. I guess I'll give you an update on my life, I went over lauren's house on the weekend, ryan has finished moving to his new place, I'm wearing taylor's pants and...oh yeah, I've begun to slip into a mind melting spiral towards madness. Here is my latest opinion of things, Every problem I have with people, every person I like or don't like, every inconvenience in my life, is brought on by myself. the state I'm in that causes me to BRING this upon myself isn't my fault, it's more a fault of strife my family has had to go through, or my crippling self conciousness. So far this year I have done my best to pass school with good grades (it was my original plan to try and move up to all s1) but I am not really doing that, I'm passing, solely on test scores and make-up work, and essentially I'm back to square one of my life, I feel the exact same way I did in sixth grade, the only difference is now I have a girlfriend so I don't have to deal with the horrible distraction of lust that I used to, I can focus more on horrible boredom and a birds eye view of my potential decaying. I don't see a point to trying, and as much as I know I should so I can go to a good college, or as much as I know my parents will be upset with my perpetual failure, the only things that give me joy nowadays is being with lauren, slacking off with chums, and sleeping. I know I'm intelligent enough to pass this stuff, WHY WON'T THEY JUST LET ME GO!? Not bragging here, give me a month to read, and day of testing, I'd have to pass to get out of school, and I'd pass it with at least a c+. I'm sick of the constant dragging down sensation that all the idiots of our society cause. Why can't I be left the right to choose what I want to do? Even when there aren't set rules (aka, I don't HAVE to go to school now that I'm 16) there are stupid unwritten rules or ideas like "I can't get a good job if I don't go to college" and "Nothing is easy." So does it mean I'm kidding myself when things are easy? Does it mean I'm not "prepared for the real world" when I find doing driveling repetitive BS all day boring? Give me a challenge, give me something to actually LEARN and not just DO, that's the differenfe between me and the kids at school, they just DO work, they do not LEARN, they do NOT expand their brains and debate and think about every little aspect they can on a subject to see what there is to KNOW about it, I know I'm not a big thinker too, but I'm not gonna do the same "do this do that" shit all day. AH, well, I'm out fellas' tim is here. g'day.