The Obscure

Hey hey, I just got back from a effecient and productive day at lauren's. She finally got a new computer (yay *two celebratory flags*) she said she'd go on tonight and if not for me to call her at 9 30. She probably won't come online, cause it is hard for her lately to get it up (hehe) by it, I mean her online services. Get your mind out of the gutter. the clock on my computer is stuck at 9 22 though, so I guess I'll just eyeball the whole...9 30 thing. Yeah, so I was in youth group tonight, and I realized that I am not a spiritually strong person. I switch around all the time, like all of my life is lies. It's really a terrible thing, even socially; it's not that I lie all the time, it's just that most of my live is lived under false pretenses. And sometimes I get the idea that perhaps my whole relgious self is under similiar pretenses. I dunno, but...well I...I know that I don't really have anything to bitch about, although I bitch all the time. I have horrible depressions every couple of days and they don't go away until I find some way to neutralize it, usually by going to someones house or drawing a comic or something, so most of the posts I have on this site are not a lucid version of myself. But you see, I don't have anything to complain about, in the grand scheme of things, my life is cushy. But on the other hand, I hate it when people make light of...my problems, although my problems are entirely self inflicted. BUT on the third hand I occasionally produce, there are times when I consider life to be a joke and just laugh my way through every thing. What the hell is going on? Which part of my life isn't a lie haha, it doesn't make any sense, leave me a comment with your advice please, I'm trying to figure some shizznat out.