The Obscure

Hey hey everybody. Tis a fine night for a morning, if you get my meaning. I certainly hope you do, because I don't.
I'm on an artistic high today. Or at least, I drew something just now that I kinda like. I just like to experiment, even if it aint good. That's a good thing, when you think about it, I can't be dissatisfied with the quality of my work, I can just say, "It was an experiment!"

Moving on. Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.
That song always gets me, right hea'.

So we were trying to buy this half-of-a-duplex on Plymouth Street, so that we could... y'know, live somewhere; but that fell through, I guess we waited just a smidge too long to place an offer on the put (and put an offer on the plank. WALK IT!)
Long story short, dat' ain't hap'nin' no-time like suntime, 'right b'now, sh-leastawise.
If I ever go professional with my dancing...
...I should be sure to get paid, UNDER THE TABLE. *laugh track*

Funk my funk the funked funk
I'd like some high quality funk, please.
Don't smush it, put the cans on the bottom
The Funk on top.
Welcome to Funk'n Shop.
HO!

Holy god, man. My brain has finally melted. I can't actually think of a single thing to say, yet I keep talking, and TALKING.
I see by your outfit, that you are a cowboy
You see by my outfit, that I am one too
We see by our outfits that we are both cowboys
If you had an outfit, you could be a cowboy, too.
Now, do the La-re-do Do-si-do!
I think that's how the jingle goes
After all, who really knows?
Promenade, and away we go!

Halloween is coming up. Halloween is not my forte. I'm not good at dressing up, it invariably turns out looking better than I actually look, which is really a bummer. Everyone gets all excited, "Hey, John doesn't look quite as orangutan-hick-ish as usual!" and then I take off the costume and it's back to (insert supplementary combination of Ape-Man and Hick-reference here).
I remember in like, seventh grade, I dressed up as Columbo, except I didn't know a thing about Columbo, so I just carried around a cane and an overcoat, crossed my eyes, and said, "I AM COLUMBO!"
Columbo never had a cane. I got a lot of candy, though.