The Obscure

Hey hey everybody. New Years Eve, today. Traditionally I would be writing this New Years Eve post late at night, after an exciting evening of sitting here at my house watching tv, possibly with Tim.
Today, though, I write in the morning, in commemoration of the surgery that I was having last year at this very second, the surgery that for all intents and purposes changed my life forever!
But I won't get into that.
So much has happened this year, my world was entirely derailed, my mind has become something new, my soul has private depths to it that are astonishing.
I've come to the end of many a year, in my life, but this time is different. This time I am sitting on the brink of my own self-discovery. After this year nothing in life will be the same for me. I am graduating, I think I am moving out, I have to decide whether to go to college and what to go for and where to go. This is no ordinary New Years Eve, my friends. This is the end of an epoch, this is the autumn of the bronze age of John. I know, I know, it's not really that big a deal. But I just have to ask you guys, those of you that knew me well a year ago, and two years ago, to think about how different life is for us now than it was then, and how different it will be. Jeez, man, there's no way anybody could prepare for that.

I was talking to my younger sister yesterday about some things. She has been very depressed lately, as have a lot of people. She asked me, "When is it going to get better?" and I replied, "I don't know, but I know it does."
And here I am, standing on the ashes of my old life. Changes have come all around me, changes have come inside me, my whole world has metamorphosed into some new species of ant (my world is an ant); and during all these changes, I did not notice a thing until it was all past. I saw no difference until I stopped for a minute to look back on life, and realized that where I am now is beautiful place.
So, forgive this poorly written, disjointed blogpost about things that don't make sense to anybody. I am just writing to collect my thoughts on things, because right now man, life is good. My only regret is that I cannot explain how good it is to someone like Elena, it is not a feeling you can impart. But I know that she too will one day feel fine and fancy-free, like I do today. Happy New Years, boyos and goilos. Don't get too smashed.