The Obscure

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important announcement: Today's Qwantz is my favorite of all time, read it, now!

I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I wasn't interrupting anything with that important announcement. To be perfectly frank, I read Qwantz, laughed a lot, and suddenly the phrase, "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important announcement" leapt into my mind, and it would not leave me be until I gave it life via this blogitorium.
Thus is solved, the mystery of the missing endoplasmic reticulum; the ROUGH endoplasmic reticulum, that is. Can you DIG IT?!

My body hurts, I can feel the ache in my VERY BONES!
How is that exuberance? Insubstantial!
No, I am not even kidding, I am feeling foot-loose and fancy free this evening.
My neice is brushing her hair, it's the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Her hair comes down past her waist, I think she got it trimmed once when she was like 5, but that is all. It's so thick and curly, it's the coolest thing ever. I wish I had hair like hers. She inspired me, I am going to grow my hair back out.
I think I was going to anyway, because getting it cut is always a hassle. So, that's all I got. Maybe I'll try to get a job within the next couple of weeks so I still look respectable when they hire me.

I don't really have a whole lot a-brewin' in my mind right now, so I think I am going to go take a quick walk down Memory Avenue, make a stop by Longdrive Way. I don't know exactly where I'm headed, maybe I'll run into you again some day in this crazy old world.
*Several Days Later*
Did you know that saber-tooth tigers live in the jungles of British Columbia? Of course, around there they call them Sabre-Toothe Tigroures. Don't mention it to the Limeys, though, it's a tender subject.
I don't know where British Columbia is, or if it even exists. All I know is, Sabre-Toothe Tigroures live there, and they are vicious.
Doesn't this LEATHER CHICKEN have SEATBELTS?!

"I was born a scrumblin' man." Said Samuel to the White King.
Man, I am not going to lie to you, I feel totally out of my head right now. Out of my gourd, that is to say.
If my body were torn to a million pieces, and buried three inches under the ground individually all around the world, each one a mile apart from any others; how long would it take for the cycles of the earth to bring all of the pieces of my matter to come together again? Through circumstance, decomposition, erosion, and so on, all the elements and particles of my body would break down to their purest forms, yes; but eventually would the exact molecules that made up my body all come back together?
I certainly hope so.
By the way, I have an appointment to have my body torn into a thousand pieces tomorrow. Wish me luck!