The Obscure

I ran into Charlie Phogg
He blacked my eye and he kicked my dog
My doggy, he turned to me, and he said
"Let's head back to Tennessee, Jed."

Here I am on a terrible friday night by myself doing nothing, as opposed to being at Taylor's house on a terrible friday night with Taylor, doing nothing. I probably would be at Taylor's house, except driving my truck in the snow is (to inexcusably steal a line from Hunter S. Thompson) akin to galloping at full-speed on a horse wearing ice skates. Therefore I am kind of stranded, and I wouldn't ask anybody to come out in this horrible weather, so I am stranded all by my lonesome.
To make matters worse, Hillary couldn't make it to the shop today because of the storm, so I didn't get my check.
To make matters worse, even if I DID get my check (which I won't, until tomorrow morning anyway) it is for way less than I thought it would be for. Like, a hundred and fifty dollars less. I forgot about thanksgiving.
To make matters even WORSE, adult swim isn't on tonight. What the hell am I supposed to do with myself now?

Maybe I'll hang out with Brittany, that's always entertaining. Except she has Amber tonight. That would still be entertaining but it always makes me slightly uncomfortable when Amber insists that I am her boyfriend. Namely because I know that Amber's father would probably punch me in the face if he knew that I was the object of his three-year-old daughter's affections. I know, I think it's irrational too, but apparently he is mad about her saying that she has a boyfriend. And I am just no good at breaking hearts!

Long story short, it's not even 7 o'clock and this is already the most boring night of my entire life. I got used to at least being able to watch TV at night, but on friday nights even THAT is robbed from me. Isn't friday supposed to be exciting? I think it is for most people. At least it isn't friggin' tuesday. I usually just sleep tuesday nights off, because I hate them so much. Friggin' tuesday.

Maybe I will try to drive somewhere. I mean, it's a total adventure, not being able to move or steer or see, and going way faster than I should be going anyway. Everyone is at risk when I drive, no one is spared!
I endanger all humanity!!

Cold-iron shackled, ball 'n chain
Listen to the whistle of the evening train
You know you, about to, wind up dead
if you don't head back to Tennessee, Jed.

If I had a gun, I promise I'd be shooting myself in the face right now.
Cross my heart, seriously.