The Obscure

Fink.

I've spent the past few days sicker than anyone else has ever been. Last night I developed a fever, the fever was bad enough that I became very delirious and started thinking things that are bad for a delirious easily frightened young man to think to himself while lying alone in the dark. I convinced myself that I was going to die, and I began to pray that when I died my soul wouldn't go to hell. It's very surprising to see how quickly one can develop a steadfast faith when faced with one's apparent impending death. The strange thing was, while I was silently praying, strange thoughts kept interrupting the flow of my prayer. I don't remember exactly what they were, except that most of them were profane. I'd be praying along, and then some horrible thing would jump very loudly into my consciousness out of nowhere and then suddenly disappear as quickly as it came. Each time this happened, I'd quickly think, "I apologize for that, God, I'm not really in my right mind."
I'm sure God understands dementia. I can only hope he does, anyway. If not I probably did more harm than good.
I've been taken these extremely potent antibiotics, but until this afternoon I was convinced they weren't doing anything, seeing as how I was getting sicker by the day. They were supposed to help by the second day, but today was the third and I spent most of it feeling like hanging myself would probably be easier than swallowing anymore robo-cops. Then I went to Taylor's house to pick up my pills, and when I got home I said to myself, "I feel like awful." so I took a very large dose of percocet and inhaled some albuterol. Half an hour after that I began to feel much better, and I decided to shave, as I hadn't shaved in almost a week. After shaving I took a look inside my throat to see if the weird yellowish-white bacterial growth on my left tonsil had gotten any smaller, and to my surprise I saw that, while still the same size, it had started to come off of my tonsil of it's own accord; it was hanging on by a disgusting string. So I started to gargle warm water furiously, thinking I could rid myself of the horrible glob in that fashion, but to no avail. In desperation I opened my mouth as wide as I could, stuck my thumb and forefinger down my throat (Luckily I don't have much of a gag reflex. Call me!) and yanked the vile thing off of my tonsil. I dropped it in the sink ran hot water for like five minutes till I was sure that it went about a mile down the drain, and rinsed my mouth out a thousand times. Now, hours later, I feel ten times better; and the glands on the sides of my neck are almost back down to their usual size.
Thus is concluded the story of one of the most disgusting things I have ever experienced. I'm glad I could share it with all of you.
It seems this kind of thing always happens to me, I told my dad about it and he said he has never heard of that ever happening to anyone before, ever. He works at a hospital! And yet this is the fourth or fifth time I can remember something awful like this happening to me. Though, it is the first time I've pulled at colony of bacteria out of my throat. I hope it is the last.

I've had a lot of time to think lately. Though I remain convinced that in most respects I am as dumb as a post (I don't think that anyone could look at the myriad of idiotic things I've accomplished in my lifetime and not concede that.) I have decided that somewhere deep in the dark recesses of my mind there is probably something worth educating. That, and the fact that I really need to get into a school soon or my insurance will be cancelled, has forced me to take this college thing my mom keeps talking about more seriously. I don't know what I'm going to do with that yet, though.

Anyway, I'm out of writing juice for now. Goodnight ladies and gentlemen.