The Obscure

Sorry about that last post, I was not myself when I wrote it, I read it just now and felt very embarassed that it existed.
Unfortunately for me, this dosage of lithium does NOT take my headaches away, it just changes them in some way I can't really figure out yet. Right now I have all the annoying symptoms, like the stupidity and the poor motor skills, of a headache that should make me contemplate suicide, but the pain is actually very minimal; and yesterday I got a headache that started in my spine. I've never had one start in my spine, it's always been in one of my eyes.
Yesterday morning, though, I went outside, and for the first time in over a year I didn't need sunglasses. It was weird to see the sky be blue and not green. When my headache came back, and I'm not ashamed to tell you this, I cried. Because I was outside and I had to put my sunglasses on again. "Goodbye, blue sky." I thought to myself, and I'll never listen to that song again without thinking of the one day I had without a headache.
So it came back. So what? Fuck it. I can deal with this, it is written that no one is given a load that it is beyond their ability to bear. I don't have much faith, but I have enough to believe that. If my parents have come this far through as much as they have and still live happily, then I can live with some headaches, no matter how incessant or pervasive they are.
That's all I have to say right now, I can't think straight enough to say anything more. Fucking headaches.