The Obscure

Welcome, one and all, to the incongruent ravings of an inferior mind!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

 
I don't think anyone reads this anymore, surprisingly that thought does little to suppress my urges to write here.
I am now much of an openly emotional person. I discuss my emotions with people ("Hey buddy, I've been thinking of killing myself lately, I was wondering, gun or knife? Whattayasay?") but I don't really show much emotion. If I am happy and pain-free then I get excitable and act kind of crazy, although I've beeen in that kind of state fewer and fewer times over the past year.
Being the kind of person who's only real noticeable emotion is sadness (you don't really see it, but I suppose my family does.) makes me also the kind of person who doesn't usually put much stock in holidays, I forget birthdays all the time, if I have money I buy my friends christmas presents and if I don't have money I... don't. I say, "Hey, I don't have money but I'll draw you a christmas/sometimes birthday-comic sometime." and I never draw them, because I am always too depressed to work on my drawing skills, so then when I try to draw a comic it comes out like a piece of shit.
The only notable exceptions to this are if I end up have some influx of cash that happens to coincide with someone's birthday, christmas, and, of course, Mother's and Father's day. I used to be bad with these holidays, but then my respect for my parents grew. I think it was Mark Twain who at one point wrote, "Sometime between my ages of 11 and 21 my father turned from an ignorant fool into a wise man." or something like that. I read it in the health-room door in high school. I have never thought that my parents were either ignorant or fools, actually when you grow up with parents that have these dizzyingly high IQ's and hyper-powered intellects and stuff, you realize that they are an anomaly, and it is you who feel like the ignorant fool (if you are wise enough to see it objectively) and rightfully so, because parents, be they parents with super-powered intellects or just regular old Joes (who might know a lot about engines that you could learn from them if you tried) and Janes (who might know how to paint a great landscape, or may have a secret to cooking the perfect cake, and you could learn those things from them if you tried) always know a little bit more than you think, they always understand just a little bit more than you think, and, a few stragglers aside, they can show you the road to "happiness later in life" be it through mistakes or experience, if you are wise to try to learn from them, of course.
That being said, and me having parents with dizzying intellects and so on, I would like to thank my parents, especially, on this day, my Father; it is his day, after all. It was they who showed me the way, the path I must walk. I know I haven't been appreciative of that fact for most of my life, but remember, I am an ignorant fool.
So, a big thank-you to my parents (I'm sure my mother will read this, she always reads these), and a Happy Father's Day to my dad. Since I don't have much money and I've run out of skill with ink and pen, it's a cheap DVD and a "Happy Father's Day" that I have to give; and I am giving it, a thousand times over. Being raised by parents with dizzying intellects may not be all it's cracked up to be, but it is certainly interesting, and, as I said, they can help you find the path. So I will say it again:
Happy Father's Day, Pop.

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